wheelchairlady

Nighttime Nancy Is Back!

2012-02-09T23:31:00.001-06:00

My Nurse Nancy has returned from her trip that she took that was back home to Africa...I'm not sure exactly where, but she did mention that she visited the old village where she had grown up. She said it had changed quite a bit in 5 years time. She has come a long way, literally! From growing up in a somewhat primitive, small, village to here in America and raising a family and is an RN. I was so glad to see her. Hopefully now I can get back into my good sleep mode knowing that she is here. Her little 3 year old son is recovered from his case of malaria(from mosquitoes)and hopefully it won't rear it's ugly head again. He could experience symptoms for many years.

Yesterday, I had somewhat of an emotional breakdown at the elementary school. I was doing flashcards with two of my favorite kids to work with. They both started sharing things with me. It was a high and fun experience from one and then a low-low experience from the other. When it was time to leave, I shared it with my nurse and teacher and felt some tears starting to creep out of my eyes. I was glad to feel these feelings because sometimes I realize that I haven't cried in a while and need a good release. It was just a lot to absorb in a few minutes time I guess. I really love being with the kids. I get a little tired, but is so worth it!

Goodnite and thanks for reading and letting me share and feel like someone is listening. I can get a little lonely at times.

The Way It Is

2012-02-08T09:52:00.000-06:00

I came across this little scenario on a friend's facebook post...I can just picture this scene. You'll get a good chuckle. Read on.

It is especially for the stay at home Moms....

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and 20 wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, and so too the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an eve...n bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife.. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pyjamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.. He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?' She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?' 'Yes,' was his incredulous reply. She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.'

Enjoy your day! Colleen.

Overwhelming Shows

2012-02-06T23:36:00.001-06:00

Today and tonight, I found myself being sucked into some really disturbing tv. Earlier tonight on Anderson Cooper, he was telling the story of a middle aged man and father who was allowed to have supervised visitation with his 2 very small boys while in the presence of a social worker. The social worker brought the boys to him in his home and he proceeded to lock her out of the house. Then he poured gallons of gasoline around the house, himself and his boys and ignited the fire which led to yet another unthinkable murder/suicide. They believe that he may have completed this act because the man's wife has been suspiciously missing and he believed the boys may have told authorities that they saw their mommy in the family vehicle's trunk. There is not much you can say except, mental illness that is just too hard to imagine. So unthinkable.
The second show that was a trainwreck was Hoarders and how these homes were condemmed and the people were in crisis because family members have died in these homes they are so bad. Roaches and spiders and rodents everywhere.
SO, I decided to switch to blog reading and reading my MDA Quest Magazine. I found some inspirational stories in each which have helped me to calm down my brain.

Got to get out on the trail today and focus on breathing deeply and relaxing. Only sign of wildlife were some squirrels and a man letting his dog run off leash. That dog was in pure delight and sheer heaven.

Goodnight and please pray for the people who are trapped by mental issues that ruin their lives.
Will have happy news to share in my next post. Peace.

Witness

2012-02-05T10:41:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, I was buzzing around my favorite thrift/type store and witnessed a shoplift. There was a short woman who was holding a large, black duffle type bag and a skateboard. She was hiding behind an aisle of blue jeans and peering towards the checkout lanes. I could just tell she was waiting to make a run for it. Sure enough, off she went looking down and zooming out the door at a fast paced walk. It just struck me. I don't usually see that look of desperation coming from a fellow shopper. I asked the check out clerk about security cameras and she said they have "hundreds" of them. This was puzzling to me, but I didn't waste too much time thinking about it. She also said, "oh, it was probably one of our regulars." SO, they have hundreds of cameras and then the statement about the regular shoplifters? Perplexed. Just going to let it go.

Me Bad?

2012-02-03T17:36:00.000-06:00

Oh my gosh, I had to be somewhat of a picky and critical person today. While training in a new daytimer, she was asking me so many little, mundane questions that I had to squelch it even though I did the same thing last week. She was just trying to be helpful, I get it but in the process I told her I felt like she was treating me like a five year old. Years of not speaking up, has taught me to nip it in the bud right away. She was cool about it. THEN, she was in the little den room with Ellen on and laughing out loud, well...very loudly! So, I had to call into her and tell her that I loved that she was happy and laughing, but could she please shut the door? I'm not really a control freak am I? If I am so what. I'm also cranky, edgy and trying to fight off a baaad spring fever. It's particularly bad right now because of our mild thirty-eight degree temps. around here lately. I heard that we missed a heavy snow storm that is hitting Iowa right now, so happy about that.

I will have a quiet night tonight. Playing Scrabble and have got the Waltons on! I'm in a nesting mode.

Thanks again to my Mom and one sister for coming over with lunch and to visit today. I feel so blessed to have them in my life. We can all talk about things happening in our lives and "get" where each one is coming from. Good friends and are always there for me.

Enjoy your weekends, if you get one.

Scrabble -Tournament of Champions ESPN [English]

2012-02-02T19:13:00.000-06:00

Who knew? Scrabble tournaments and championships...

They Got Me

2012-02-02T19:06:00.000-06:00

I have finally given into a facebook game. Several times I was told to try "Face Words" on Facebook. For the most part, it is Scrabble with a new name. I was told that it could become addictive. I played today and don't really see it like that, but as of just fun and a bit of a mind teaser. I thought, why not? It is a bit more fun than doing an entire crossword puzzle. Also, it can be as little or a lot of a time commitment as you want. Sure, I'll always love the face to face interaction with fellow players on a real board, on a real table, but this is fun for a quick escape and connection. Made me smile today. Just the ticket for a gloomy day.

Charmin Commercial w/ Kathleen Freeman

2012-02-01T10:16:00.000-06:00

DON'T SQUEEZE THE CHARMIN!

Really?

2012-02-01T10:08:00.000-06:00

I know I write about a lot of nurse related things, but this one thing is something I never thought I'd have to write about. Lately, I have noticed that one of my overnite nurses has been using the bathroom without shutting the door. I know, right? I have been blowing it off. This morning however, it woke me out of a sound sleep. So I beeped her in and told her to open my cuff(which enables me to talk) and I said, "this is wierd, but have you been using the bathroom without shutting the door? She turned and looked at the door, paused and said oh, sometimes, I thought the light and fan would wake you up and I no, that it was the flushing that was waking me up. Now that I am writing this, I can't believe that I had to have that conversation with someone at 6a.m. Then I layed there wondering whether or not I was beng a control freak! I always try to preface these stories by saying how grateful I am to all my nurses, but once in a while, I just tend to dwell on dumb, little things too often!

Yesterday, It was so nice outside, that I took off for the trails. W hen I got there, unfortunately, there was still snow piled along the trails in various places. The sidewalks are not plowed during the snowy days either. So part of the time I was in the road and just zooming along. It was actually exciting. I didn't zoom out into the road when there were cars nearby. It just felt so good to be out there and breaking out of my day in and day out winter routine. Oh, and there was the bonus of SUNSHINE. And NO WIND. Today it is really foggy, so "whatever!"

Off to school pretty soon to soak up the youth. It will be fun to get back there again.

Not much else today. Have a good one!

CBS My Three Sons promo late 60s

2012-01-30T12:21:00.000-06:00

I love it. The "the woman shy father."

Back In The Day

2012-01-30T12:11:00.000-06:00

Last night was one of my bad nights where I could not turn my mind off and finally gave up and turned on the TV. I found a channel that my family has been talking about. They play all kinds of memorable entertainment..thus, it is called ME network. While watching a couple of the old shows, I realized that unmarried men with kids always had the "help." These Dads were usually widowers I think. D-I-V-O-R-C-E was not ever mentioned. They all seemed to have really professional jobs that would pay quite well so that the family could provide a living for the housekeeper/Nanny. Most times, the "help" lived right with the family in these shows. Let's see, there was the butler Mr. French in Family Affair. There was Uncle Charlie in My 3 Sons, there was Alice who was with Mr. Brady when he met Mom Carol Brady, there was The Courtship of Eddie's Father and I think the little asian nanny was Mrs. Livingston. I'm positive there are many more, but you get the idea. I don't know. How do men do it these days if they don't have live in Nannies and housekeepers? You got it. I think Grandmas carry a lot of the responsibilities. Or the older children do the latch key kid thing. I just thought it was interesting how Dads were portrayed in the shows of the 60's and 70's.

Khan's Mongolian Barbecue

2012-01-29T11:39:00.001-06:00

We had quite the family gathering last night for my younger by one year brother, Bill. In fact he and I are both 48 now until I turn 49 on February 16. The place is a fun experience because you actually get involved with choosing every part of your food. It becomes more than just a visit to a restaurant. They have every vegetable, meat,noodle,sauce,rice for you to choose from. You try to pile as much of it into your bowl and then hand it over to the 4 cooks who are surrounding a ginormous flat grill. They stir and chop and slide it around until it is cooked and then voila, your personalized dinnner is ready. You are allowed to go back as many times as you wish. I'm sure some regulars must have a system. The only problem is that the bowls provided are so tiny. I think maybe because they want to cut down on wasting? Anyways, a really good time. Thanks to my parents who are the best hosts either in their own home or out on the town as well!

I have a new nurse this weekend(days)and except for an occasional smoker's cough, she's doing really well. I had to tell her right off, no small talk when I 1st wake up, no questions, I had to do this because the 1st morning she came in last week, she knocked loudly on the bedroom door, flung it open and yelled out, "GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE!" Plus she was masking smoke smell with a heavy dousing of Lillies of the Valley cologne. I typed a secret email to the case manager and she clued her in about snuffing out the use of cologne and toning down her demeanor. So, its been good, except for the fact that I will always feel a bit too controlling, but am getting over it. Just asking for what I want and need. During our 1st moments together, this morning, I had to tell her sorry, but I can't do spearmint gum! Ughhh. She was fine with it tho. "well, I won't know unless you tell me." Another stresser was having her merge with the grand puppy, but they are doing great together! I am very happy about all of this.

Thanks for stopping by and enjoy your sunday. Screen Actors Guild awards tonight! I happen to love the awards shows.

Laugh It Out

2012-01-27T11:01:00.000-06:00

Shopping for greeting cards is not my favorite thing. There are soooo many of them and they can end up being expensive and I get overwhelmed and would rather be doing something else. Part of this may be due to the fact that I can't reach a lot of them. Anyways, I had a few things to pick up at Target and am going to celebrate my younger brother's birthday this weekend, so okay, let's go find the cards. I was not in my usual Target, so I was feeling a little discombobulated and kind of tired out and a little more uninhibited if you will? I just wanted to grab and go, but couldn't because most of the "humor" cards were so incredibly stupid that me and my nurse just started laughing and cracking up so much so that it ended up taking about a half an hour to find the card that I chose.I had her reaching and grabbing and laughing so much that she started cry/laughing and my breath got taken away a little from laughing and I'm on a vent. (that's a lot of laughing) Sure, there are new sections of cards like: Go Girl, and Retro-Fun or something like that. The humor/brother section is really in need of a re-vamp. There were maybe 10 to choose from and decrepidly old wisecracks. I wish I had a good example, but can't come up with it now. Things like, "you were a pain...but NOW! and Mom liked me more than u..." Really tired old cards.
So, the moral of this blog is take 2 kind of stressed out and in a hurry women shoppers who haven't had a break and show them to the humor section of greeting cards and see what happens. Lots of laughing is promised and exhileration to last all afternoon! We laughed out all of our frustrations.

The card that I ended up with....................(front cover)Why Do Old Men Wear Black Socks With Sandals?

(Inside) You're One Year Closer To Finding Out!

A half hour to find that! Geeeeesh.

Burglars, Thieves, Low-Life Scum

2012-01-26T08:42:00.000-06:00

When crooks are casing this apartment building, do they not realize that we are located approximately 120 yards away from the POLICE STATION? Evidently not, read on.
Yesterday, at our elementary school session, a young boy came up to me and told me he had seen me at my apartment building and it turns out he lives here too. Teacher came by and said 'did you tell Ms. Foxley what your Dad did this past weekend?" Then the boy started to tell me how his Dad was in the underground parking garage early this past sunday morning, around 6:00am. He came upon two men who were acting startled and strange. Chris, the Dad, called our office manager and then police. The 2 robbers were caught not far from here in a stolen car, several violations listed and a back seat and trunk full of stolen property. I did stop in the office and talked to the manager and they are still investigating how they came in and if they are connected to any of the residents here. When this happened a couple of summers ago, there was a connection. It seems they knew what they were doing because their car was parked out of range of the security camera. Parking garages are always kind of an ominous place for me. Now, more than ever it has reason to be. You never know what could be lurking in the shadows. My being cautious, scared and creeped out is justified. Fear is a gift of awareness.

Post Traumatic Memories

2012-01-25T10:41:00.000-06:00

It's so sad for me to think that today, my niece turns 18 and each year on this day, I am reminded of a terrible incident that me and my young daughter had to go through at the hands of my ex-husband. I am going back to talk about it and hopefully release it, to purge it and hopefully move on from it. I got the news that my sister had delivered her 1st baby and so naturally, I was very excited to go see her and meet my 1st niece with her cousin, my almost 2 year old daughter. It was rare for us to go out on a weeknight in those days and on top of that it was snowing...a lot. My ex managed to slam down quite a few drinks before we left for the hospital. We didn't have far to go, and when we got there, he helped me into my manual wheelchair. At the time, I wasn't in the chair fulltime and appreciated when he could push me around. However, not when he was in drinking mode. He proceeded to start running while pushing me and my little daughter running behind us and I was sreaming out "don't run, STOP running!!!" sure enough, the parking lots hadn't been plowed and because the curb cutout wasn't visible, we slammed into it and I went flying out and landed on my forehead which instantly started bleeding profusely and I was yelling at him and my daughter was hysterical and crying at the site of the blood. Now that I revisit it, what a scene we must have been! Off to the ER for me...my Mom came down for my daughter, thank God and took care of her the rest of the night. I spent about 3 hours waiting to get my forehead stitched up. I was too embarrased to go up to see my little niece. If I hadn't of had blood all over my clothes and dried into my hair, maybe I would have gone up to meet her! There was always the issue of the leather jacket that he had given me for Christmas a month earlier. His mother tried so hard to get the blood stains out. I told her not to try too hard, becuase now the coat had baaad memories.
It's somewhat hard for me to go back and visit that time. I would just chalk up this kind of incident to that's life! because at this point in my life, I was already in survival mode. I would experience a bad situation and then stuff it back into my mind and prepare for the next challenge. To a certain extent, I still do this.
All this being said, I want to wish a Happy 18th Birthday to my niece who is a very kind and beautiful person.
Thanks all for being there! Colleen.

Heidi Klum and Seal Family

2012-01-23T11:55:00.000-06:00

Here they are all together. THey have a beautiful family! Good luck to them. Hope to find out what happened.

Another One Bites The Dust

2012-01-23T11:38:00.000-06:00

Heidi Klum and Seal? Yet again, I was fooled into thinking that THIS couple was strong and everlasting. WRONG again. I don't know why I trust so many marriages and scenarios in my head. They had it all, didn't they? Maybe it was the way I was brought up. During all of my growing up years, I only had one relative divorce and knew of maybe one little girl in my elementary school. It could also be that I was aware that Heidi and Seal renewed their vows every year in a special ceremony. Oh and their several kids. Feel badly for them. There must have been some heavy trust issues going on.
Speaking of trust, the other night I was enjoying my sister and her boyfriend(who is a really good cook)we were watching him cook and laughing and talking, having some wine when my son came in with two friends and told me "mom you have to meet Josiah's Dad before he can stay over." Me, "oh really, ok." Mr. Dad came with Mrs.Mom and there we all were in a semi-circle in my kitchen. I have met their son several times and have always enjoyed him. These parents were very nice, but I could just feel the sternness and controlling nature. They were giving me their business card, Mr.Dad wrote down their address, more phone numbers. I'm not sure what they thought their seventeen year old son was capable of doing, but after about 10 minutes, I said don't worry no one will be leaving this apartment. My nurse is here to help me monitor as well. I just felt sorry for J. He was soooo embarrassed and I could understand. I thought back to when I was 17 and if my parents didn't trust me, it would have been so hard to deal with. I asked J. after the parents left, just what was going on. Had his parents been in trouble when they were younger? The answer was yes and J. himself had encountered a bit of trouble too. So, there was a reason for them not trusting him, but I could have learned all of that in a private conversation with one of his parents. I just felt so bad for young man J. And I hope his parents will just give him a little more slack and some positive reinforcement. TRUST is the word for the day.

Talk Radio Gals

2012-01-21T22:41:00.000-06:00

I am sad to say that the 2 women whom I listen to a lot...have really begun to annoy me. After being so cooped up for many winter months, I have to say that I listen to my talk radio sister-in-laws quite a bit. (They are sister-in -laws) When I initially discovered them 5years ago, I would relate to them and laugh with them, After all, they are on 5 days a week for 3 hours a day. I would make it a part of my routine. Lately however, I have noticed that the 2 all American local and seemingly simple, midwest women have taken a more noticable turn. A turn toward the more glam and pop. side of the world.
They really get into the Hollywood awards shows now more than ever, now that they get to attend so many of them. That is all fine and special, but the way they go about getting ready for their reporting on the red carpets is really too much. One of the gals just got back from a so -called much needed trip to Mexico so that she and her husband could re-connect and re-group etc. and even "reform" their plan for the 2nd half of their lifetime together. All of this is sweet and should be what it is...a simplistic stress free time together. Then this half of the talk show team says, "I wish I would have caught a bug in Mexico. One that would have made me just sick enough to lose 5-10 pounds." WHAT? How surface and shallow. I was disappointed by this comment because #1, she tried to make it sound funny....and #2 these women are always there to lend support to the women who really need support of their low self esteem shortcomings. THEY ARE SO BODY CONSCIOUS. TOO MUCH SO. They really need to start practicing what they preach."Giulianna Depandi is too anorexic." "Nichole Kidman is a Q-tip." They are really starting to turn me off. I didn't mention who they are, but they are on FM 107.1 and the entire station is now a gossip talk station...who needs it all? Just too much. I'm a little...and a lot disappointed in my radio talk show friends. Oh well, nothing can be the way it always has been, or how it seems.
A good rest of the weekend to you! Colleen.

By Now

2012-01-19T23:02:00.001-06:00

If you're a regular follower, by now, you know that my reality is not quite the same as everyone elses. Even though, I try to just go with the flow and remain mellow, life creeps in and seems to make it impossible. Ok, enough writer's mumbo-jumbo...tonight, I was taken a back when my daughter called to say that she was bringing grand-puppy back and that her much talked about boyfriend was with her. I swear that it was just 2 days earlier that she and I were discussing when and where the perfect place for her 2 favorite people were to meet. That's right me and him! Yawn and snooze....somehow, I intuitively knew that when I did meet this highly spoken about young man, it would be unplanned, unique and happy. It happened to be all of that. I looked somewhat presentable for a 1st impression. At least my hair was presentable for not going out and about today. My son came out to meet and greet with a firm handshake and the pup who came with them(daughter and Sean) was being well- behaved. A little cautious(as if to keep him on his toes)yet also just being her perfect, little bodyguard. Sean knew not to continuously try to look him in the eyes and win him over, but to let him come to him. Own terms. Good concept. At the end of the 1st meeting, I'm glad to say that her new, talked about boyfriend met all of my expectations. He was handsome, poised, intelligent and friendly.
Tonight, I have one of my regular, nighttime nurses here, so I am expecting a good night's sleep.
Same to you.

Deep Freeze For Thursday

2012-01-18T23:13:00.000-06:00

Looking forward to just staying home thursday. It will be a high of 5 and I chased just a bit today, so that's what I've been doing lately. One day out, one day in. Today,we had a good visit at school and then came home for me to meet a new every other weekend nurse. She is bubbly, energetic, quite a fast talker and is my age. Once in a while I happen to clash with a nurse who is closer to my age. Since I don't define myself as a patient or a client, a nurse my age tends to want to be the one in charge or tries to display dominance over me and keep me in strictly a patient role. Hopefully, I can stop analyzing her and just work well with her. I always give everyone a chance that comes into "interview." Today, after about 5 minutes, I said "you're hired." So, the next step is she will come to orientate with a regular nurse this friday for a couple of hours. Based on the 10 minutes that she was here today, I anticipate a lot of nervous chatter and many questions. Hoping my routine with new hours and nurses settles down quickly. There's also been some sickness going on around me(nurses) but hey, that's the middle of January for you. Boring topic for you all. Trying to think of something new to write about.
How strange is it that in the afternoon when I'm taking a break in the action, I turn to old episodes of the Waltons? The years it was on from '74 to maybe '80? The episodes are kind of corny for sure, but they are a good escape. Can't believe that i'm admitting it, but I actually used to crush on John Boy! Mary Ellen was always about my age and I used to identify with her boy craziness. She was always so dramatic too. Wow, I've been escaping back into the Waltons!
Many health related stories swarming around me lately too. This past sunday, a class of '80 graduate from my highschool died. It burned up facebook pretty quickly and no one has any details. I didn't know him personally, but I think everyone knew who he was. Don Zuppan. They called him Zupe. Always sad when classmates go on. One of my nurse's next door neighbors committed suicide the other day. Her husband was home when the mother of the man came running over for help. So, of course she was upset about that all day. Somewhat detached, is my ex-husband's wife who just underwent colon surgery for recurring diverticulitis. My ex hub is having a really bad time trying to handle their household and her medical issues and this trickles down to my daughter. He was threatening to leave his home, this world, you name it. And there she is to try to console him. She is more like a parent to him and it stresses her out so much. I just try to sympathize and listen. It can be exhausting, but just because a child is moved out of your house, doesn't mean they don't need your support anymore. Like my Mom and I frequently say, it never ends.

One more little story about my nurse with the 10 kids. They ALL had the violent flu last week. Can you even imagine? I asked for some of health tips because she is in amazing shape, but she didn't have too much for me. Referred to the help of the Good Lord, which I believe, but just find her to be so inspirational.
Ok, good for now. Thanks for coming by. I do appreciate having all of you good listeners around me.

Furniture Barn

2012-01-16T22:06:00.001-06:00

I've always had a thing for collecting furniture. I can never seem to pass up a great deal from the Goodwill or a garage sale. This goes back to when me and my mom and sibs. discovered the occasional garage sale. My Mom may not remember this, but I remember being in an upstairs bedroom of a house and finding an old vanity that was missing the mirror. It was $5 and bless her, she bought it for me and somehow got home. Probably in the back of the station wagon. I loved it. Loved it even more for being $5! Since I've had kids, I always make it a priority to make sure they have everything they need. They both have a thing about their spaces/bedrooms. They like their rooms to feel open. Just yesterday, my son hauled out his chest of drawers which used to be his sister's and said it was going to the trash room. Uhh, I don't think so Mister! I had he and his friends break out the Endust and get to dusting it. I had them set it against the only open wall in the apartment and I slept on what to do with it. Since I'm the only one that has ever seemed to appreciate this piece, I decided to switch the dresser in my room for the one that was almost given away. Mom happened to drop in this morning and my nurse for the day helped too, so voila, done in a snap. I was going to put the dresser that was in my room down in the lobby with a free sign, but my new nighttime nurse asked about it and it turns out her 2 grandsons could really use one. Glad it is going to the right home. Does anyone else get attached to their furniture? Seems like it could be a strange type of phenomenon. :)
Furniture Barn happens to have been the place to go for furniture when I was young. I had a little shelving unit from there from way back in grammar shcool. I would arrange my little figurines and dust it constantly. I still do that today. Re-arrange all of my favorite things. Variety is the spice of life.

Finally

2012-01-15T11:27:00.001-06:00

I was finally able to watch a DVD that I've been holding (thru netflix) since before Christmas. "Crazy, Stupid, Love" with Steve Carrell and Ryan Gosseling. A really good cast. The story kind of meanders around a lot and sometimes a little slooooooow. I didn't want to be interrupted, so I settled into my room. Well, by the middle of the movie, I had to get the laptop out and focus on it and the movie. Don't get me wrong, most of it, I really enjoyed and thought there was some cleverness, but it was too much of overlapping coincidental events. At the end, everyone knows everyone else and it's just too much circumstantial and far fetch-ed-ness. In the end, I think everyone who watches this movie will take a little something different away with them. Wow, I'm now a movie critic! I give this movie a B-, or 3 out of 5 stars. Now I'm looking forward to "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close." It took me about a week to be able to remember this title. I finally had to resort to the old trick of 1st letters. E.L.I.C. Elic! works everytime. I swear it is this system that got me thru many a class.
Today is a bittersweet day for me and one of my newer nurses. It is her last day and darn it all, I'm quite bummed. She is perfectly trained in and knows what to do and just what I need semmingly every minute of the day. It comes down to weekend shifts. She works every other weekend for me and wants them free for the upcoming summer season. I even tried to offer her another weekday shift (she already works tuesdays for me) but to no avail. Just the way things work out sometimes. So now, I look ahead to the dreaded "meet and greets" that will be coming soon. May find someone as fabulous, we'll see. I'm reminding myself to not stress about it, but hate the process of training in someone new.
Looks like a great day outside, going out to feelk the freshness.

Quiet Dinner?

2012-01-13T10:50:00.000-06:00

Well, last night I found myself eating dinner at an old, but new place. My son and I were doing a quick errand to the DMV for another signature(turns out on the 1st form I hadn't listed my relationship) so I wrote in large letters MOM! We left there with a couple of friends in tow and everyone was hungry. Their favorite place to go lately is Hope's Chinese Buffet in Blaine. It wasn't my 1st choice, but I didn't really have a better idea, so off we went. I was in the buffet line and a woman came up behind me to talk into my ear. There wasn't enough room to turn around so she was basically talking to my back. She wanted to compliment me on the lights on my wheelchair. So we talked for a couple of minutes and she is fighting Multiple Schlerosis and goes on the road with her husband who is a truck driver. I'm not sure how many days/nights they spend on the road, but it sounds like a rather difficult life.
Anyways, I ended up eating dinner with four men. The 2 friends who were dining with us had told their Dad and Grandpa where we were eating and they came too. I was outnumbered, but it was fun. Known these guys for years and we had some laughs. Got me out of my usual comfort zone that's for sure.
My Mom sent me this story and I wanted to share with you all. Very moving and shows a good example of never giving up!

Here it is...
In a recent email, I read about a woman named Pam, who knows the pain of considering abortion. More than 24 years ago, she and her husband Bob were serving as missionaries to the Philippines and praying for a fifth child. Pam contracted amoebic dysentery, an infection of the intestine caused by a parasite found in contaminated food or drink. She went into a coma and was treated with strong antibiotics before they discovered she was pregnant.

Doctors urged her to abort the baby for her own safety and told her that the medicines had caused irreversible damage to her baby. She refused the abortion and cited her Christian faith as the reason for her hope that her son would be born without the devastating disabilities physicians predicted. Pam said the doctors didn't think of it as a life, they thought of it as a mass of fetal tissue.

While pregnant, Pam nearly lost their baby four times but refused to consider abortion. She recalled making a pledge to God with her husband: If you will give us a son, we'll name him Timothy and we'll make him a preacher.

Pam ultimately spent the last two months of her pregnancy in bed and eventually gave birth to a healthy baby boy August 14, 1987. Pam's youngest son is indeed a preacher. He preaches in prisons, makes hospital visits, and serves with his father's ministry in the Philippines . He also plays football. Pam's son is Tim Tebow. (Denver Bronco’s quarterback)

The University of Florida 's star quarterback became the first sophomore in history to win college football's highest award, the Heisman Trophy. His current role as quarterback of the Denver Broncos has provided an incredible platform for Christian witness. As a result, he is being called The Mile-High Messiah

Yesterday

2012-01-12T11:20:00.000-06:00

I had a couple of ups and downs yesterday. I am writing about the highs, rather than the lows. I was working with a couple of kids that I don't usually work with. We were doing a spelling test. These kids were taking a re-test. There is nothing more determined looking than a third grader doing a spelling test. One of the girls asked me what we were going to do next and I told her I had to go in about 10 minutes. She said, "awwwww." May seem simple, but I really felt happy and needed after that. That was the 1st up. The second up came right after dinner and a knock at the door. My son peeked out the peep-hole to see Herb, my older apartment resident friend. Mack said he had an urgent look on his face, so we opened the door. He was standing there with a brown paper bag. He said "I've got a pie for you, you like cherry right?" I was really surprised that he remembered this from a silly conversation probably from 2 years or so ago. I think this act of kindness was so sweet. Literally, right? There are a lot of good people out there.

Maya Angelou - Rainbows in my Clouds

2012-01-10T23:12:00.000-06:00

Any Maya Angelou fans out there?
I think she still may doing work with Oprah and Oprah's life classes. She has such a soothing and creative way of describing things and feelings and relationships. This little speech is about being a blessing to someone else, be a rainbow in their dark cloud. I get it. Have a good day and fill it up with focusing on rainbows, won't you?

Not Even Out of Bed Yet

2012-01-09T11:01:00.000-06:00

This is kind of a "thanks for sharing" blog post. After an inconsistent night of sleep, the 1st thing you don't want to hear from your 2nd nurse in 24 hours, in a whispery voice is, "Your toilet is blocked." and then ..."and I have to go, can I use Mack's bathroom?" me. "Yes!" So the maintenance guy is here now. Of course, when he came in I was looking so glamorous in my cracked, red glasses and greasy hair. he decided to kill 2 birds with one stone and check our carbon monoxide detectors too, isn't that special, so this meant entrance into my bedroom and just what you want to talk about with the janitor guy, "so did you do anything fun this weekend?" me, uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, "yeah, I did actually. " Couldn't I have just said "no?" Well, I do talk to him around the building so why not in my own room? Just a little bit awkward. It's a good thing I don't freak out anymore at not being "public ready."
yes, it has started out to be an anything can happen day! Bring it on!

David Ruffin Put A Little Love In Your Heart

2012-01-08T10:31:00.000-06:00

We need more songs about Love and Peace...we take them for granted...this song reminds me of somewhere in my childhood. You will be singing it all day!

Put A Little Love Back Into Your Life

2012-01-08T10:22:00.002-06:00

Yesterday, me and a group of friends and a couple of the Moms were going to get together at our neighborhood bar to play some saturday afternoon BINGO. This group stems from a close family who has a lot of friends and old neighbors and friends of friends. They just kept coming in and me and Mom looked at each other and were in such awe at their closeness. We really felt blessed that they include us in their love fest. I think the party had to have grown to at least 40 or so.The laughs, the hugs, the kisses, the real connections between this family and how they welcome everyone in. It turned into a happening! The place was packed as I had never seen it before. There were no more parking spaces and no where even to sit. I know people are motivated to play BINGo in order to have a chance at the moulla, but when I'm with this group, I don't even care about the money. I just really love being with them because they treat me so specially. One of the sisters handmade a darling , little lap quilt and scarf for me. She chose a brilliant, yellow/gold color to match my chair. Almost forgot that mama Elaine and Linda and Butch also sent along a crisp snowflake
sun-catcher window stick on ornament. It reminds me of the fresh and friendly snow time ornaments.
Thanks for the boost that the Huttle family and friends have always been there for me and my kids and family. Colleen.

You Know What?

2012-01-05T23:16:00.000-06:00

I know that I have mentioned many times before how great my parents are, but darn it, it warrants repeating. The two of them drove up to Duluth yesterday to pick up my niece from UMD, bring her down here to have an outing at the Mall of America with her and my brother(her Dad)lunch and shopping, have us all over for dinner, and make all of us in attendance, feel special and loved. Tomorrow they will drive her back home to Duluth and then drive themselves back home. It's all no big deal for them. All in a day's work of loveliness and family togetherness. They have been such a good example of love and family. Whatever someone needs or wants, they are just there. The 1st example of this concept of taking care of us that comes to my mind is how they have moved all of us probably at least 3 or 4 or maybe even 6 times a piece. There were many trips back and forth up to Duluth. Me and my brothers all went there. From the dorms, to apartments, to homes up there and then sometimes back home for the summer. They always made sure that we were safe and in a secure place. So I guess, one little up and back taxi doesn't seem like anything, but God bless them anyway. Wow, are we all lucky to have grown up with parents who we could count on. No matter what the need, request or problem. Resolve was just around the corner if you needed it. To have them still able to help all of us is truly a gift! Love you Mom and Dad.

Ten?

2012-01-04T23:12:00.001-06:00

I had just met this new nurse the other night...how could I not have remembered the correct amount of children she has...10? I told her that I thought it was 6...holy maca-noli...I had already forgotten 4 kids! Anyways, she is a really vibrant and positive woman. (I almost asked her age, but just couldn't) She even named off all of her kids. I had a slight twinge of incapabilitie...ness. Of course, she also has 3 dogs and 2 cats and when she isn't working part-time is a stay at home Mom. Hate to say it, but it was almost too much for me to happily take in. I had done my "little" day of errands, Kohl's return and purchase...Target Boutique for milk, 3rd graders full of the dickens, but really uplifting and fun. Then of course dealing with my own son's "daily stuff." I did happen to hear her say something about the Duggar family. Not sure why it came up. Maybe, she and her family have some kind of connection? Just not sure of that one.

As usual, I had a great time at school helping out Ms. Conroy with anything that I could. I am trying so hard to remember their little, third grade names. I can just tell when someone looks to me to say their name! One little girl in particular was making herself busy sorting out multiplication flashcards and being really engulfed in it when out of nowhere she says, "I like the sound of your machine...it sounds like the wind." Let's just say that I stopped dead in my tracks and then swelled up with sheer happiness. I could go no where but happy land. Felt so accepted!

I'm not sure what it is that makes me feel like since I've accepted my condition, that I am invisible to others or something, but I always love it when kids just spill it out there. It seems like the more people and kids ask about me and my friend the mechanical chair...the more at ease I can be with the whole thing.

Kind of a running joke, but once again, I just heard the words from my son..."do you know where the duct tape is?" Take my advice...always buy stock in DUCT TAPE! (and also your own personal stash of duct-tape)You will never go wrong.

Quiet Day

2012-01-03T11:48:00.000-06:00

Looking forward to a nice, quiet and relaxing day. There will be no Christmas vacationers stopping by and no little boy (neighbor upstairs elf) , trompsing around all day either! That is until he gets home from school at precisely 4:04pm. I almost feel badly that he annoys me so much, but what can I do? I actually know the boy(Joey) and I've talked to him about it. He's too busy to focus on me and my need for peace and quiet. Yesterday around 6pm, I had had my limit of the jumping and falling and crashing from up there, so I told my son to grab the broom and bang it on the ceiling just 3 times...I'm not sure if they even heard it because the galavanting didn't really stop too much. The only other time that my daughter banged on the ceiling, (back when she lived here) the teenage girl that was living there at the time, came romping down here to yell at us! It's like a mini war around here sometimes! I felt like I was on Jerry Springer.

On to other things...my niece, Christina is coming down for a visit from Duluth. She will be here for 2 nights, so I am looking forward to seeing her! She is my brother Fred's daughter and she goes to UMD. A freshman and I think deciding on a major, but wanting to make criminology her focus. This is one of those family situations where we didn't see too much of my brother's kids while they were growing up, but now it's like what happened to your little girl? She's all grown up, just like my little girl! Now we can watch them and interract with them as whole new people. Young adults that seem to have matured over night. Brings me back to when all of my brothers and sisters were brought back together with our cousins after not seeing them a lot during the teen years. One minute they were crazy, little boys and the next minute, poof! Grown ups, like your'e meeting someone new! These days, we're back to not a lot of contact with cousins. A little facebook now and then, but everyone is pretty scattered around. Just the way it is.

I met a new nurse last night. She came in for the overnight shift. She was in her scrubs and ready to go. Of course this meant not a lot of sleep. You'd think I would be used to having a new overnite nurse on occasion, but just wondering what she's doing can keep me awake. really have no complaints with this gal, she was very quiet and I didn't even need to call for her, but once. It will be good to have Nancy back from her trip back home to Africa. only 3 more weeks!

That's about it for today. As always, thanks for stopping by and take care. Colleen.

Good Morning and Bad Morning

2012-01-02T09:19:00.000-06:00

Yes, already this monday morning, there has been bad and good. Having my morning cup of coffee, I came across an old favorite show...The Bob Newhart Show so I was laughing and enjoying all of the characters when I came across a FB newsfeed telling of a married couple from this area who were killed in a car accident yesterday on their way home from snowmobiling. They have a senior at our highschool and an older son that has graduated. The shock of never knowing when this type of situation can happen, is a grim reminder of how precious life is. Where do their kids even begin to start the grieving and healing process and continue on with their young lives? Just very upsetting and I hope all will go as smoothly as possible for them. Can't even imagine it.

I am still trying to focus on the freshness and newness of starting a brand new year. Let's hope it's a good one and don't forget to count your blessings often. Spread all the love around that you can.

Scentimental Songs

2011-12-30T11:17:00.000-06:00

Last night, I did something that I love to do. I go onto Playlist.com and search for some of my old, favorite songs. I focused on Manilow, Fogelberg and Elton John. Sooo many songs! Some really bring back memories. You know, I think that my Mom and I have seen Barry either 3 or 4 times. One of my first 8 track (yes, I said 8 track) tapes was One Voice. I had only a small collection of tapes and albums, so when I had one that I liked, it was played over and over. Many memories came flooding in about past crushes, a boyfriend or two. Makes you realize just how much time has gone by and potentially how short life can be. Also, how much we mature and grow up emotionally in that time span.
Last night I was able to find some of the songs and I posted them over to the left on the playlist. If it annoys you to hear music while your reading, just press the stop button or mute.
On a sad note, I'm remembering that Dan Fogelberg is no longer with us on this earth. He died of cancer at the age of 56. Sad. I'm going to find one of his performances and post it here.

Have a great day! Colleen.

Dan Fogelberg ~ Same Old Lange Syne - Soundstage

2011-12-30T11:14:00.000-06:00

Here is one of my favorite Fogelberg songs ... appropriate for this time of year. It is from 1980.

When In Doubt FInd A Woman To Help

2011-12-28T09:53:00.000-06:00

If you ever want to shake things up, just get a couple of teenage boys to take you to the grocery store. My little outing yesterday, was a trip to our local Cub Foods store. Me, my son Mack and his friend Tyler had a list and had some fun shopping around, looking at different things and laughing. I was showing them how you always look for the sale and price cut items and also GENERIC items. Also ran into an old friend (Jolene Johnson) so there was a lot going on. The store wasn't crowded at all, so it was actually enjoyable. We arrived at the checkout and my son was unloading groceries, his friend took the gift card from me and handed it over to Mack and I scooted around to the bagging station to observe my little elves bagging and organizing. Then I asked the cashier, "did you get the gift card?" to which he replied, "what gift card?" My son started frantically searching his pockets. He was reaching into all of his pockets when Anthony, the cashier says, "why don't you check your pockets?" ARGHHH. Then he says, "well, you can report it to the lost and found." to which I said, "you don't get it, it was just here, the shorter one handed it to the taller one and it has to between there and right here." So Anthony came around the lane and pulled out a little tray that is intended to catch just such things coming down the conveyor belt. Nothing. Tony says, "well maybe he set it over on the lane over there" Oh, good thinking Anthony! you have so many great suggestions.(I didn't say this, just being sarcastic) Mack and I split the charge and checked out. Well, I wasn't leaving without that card, so I spotted a woman cashier who was pushing carts around and I zoomed up to her and asked her to please come help us. She arrived at the lane and took off a large panel under the counter and crawled in so far that I thought she may get stuck in there...then she stood up and started reaching in at the end of the conveyor belt. She called out, "Tony, stop the belt! Unless you want to take off one of my fingers!" All this time, Tony is still checking people out and they're all climbing around us, looking at us like we're visiting from MARS! but I just kept fixated on Kathy. I knew she would find it. Sure enough, she was able to slide it out and held it up in the air like a golden ticket. Quite exciting. I cheered, "yay for Kathy!"
She was a good example of not going to give up until the customer is happy. I was. Still am and have the gift card for the next trip. I may just duct tape it to my forehead. Yet another good learning experience for my son. Even though your mother is there with you, you need to focus and slow down just a bit. And don't set things on the mighty conveyor belt!

Hope everyone is enjoying after Christmas week and ready to start a Happy New Year!

Here In The Real World

2011-12-26T23:37:00.001-06:00

I enjoyed a great Christmas holiday. Spent a lot of time with my parents. brothers and sisters and kids on Christmas Eve. It always seems like a major highlight of the Eve is playing that darned dice game. We all try to recycle little white elephant gifts and dollar store gifts. I happened to have ended up with a really pretty scarf that my eldest niece had received and wanted to recycle. It came time to do the "stealing" part of the game and me and my nurse hid the prize under a chair and decided not to partake in the stealing segment of the game. We had a lot of laughs.

Today, it's back to the real world kind of juggling issues with my nursing staff. One just left for a trip to her country, Africa for a month. One wasn't able to come today(but did give notice) so, my son covered for her, and another has called in for tuesday. I'm not sure if she is sick or what's going on. When you rely on the help of "staff" to help you get up and out of bed, etc. It kind of becomes a big deal. My son will take the hours because he's on break, but I am feeling kind of vulnerable and at the mercy of the homecare company. This too shall pass, but it is either one thing or another. Stability is so important to me. Thank goodness that my son is willing to jump in on occasion.

Wishing you all peace in your lives and good health. Colleen.

So This Is Christmas

2011-12-24T10:48:00.002-06:00

Hi Everyone. This is one of my favorite days of the year. We always go to my Mom's house and all of my brothers and sisters will be there. When the seven of us are together(my sibs. and paents), I seem to get a aeries of smile cramps from smiling the whole night long. I guess this is a great problem to have right? I'm looking forward to just lots of laughs and enjoying each other's company. We are SO lucky to be together and especially now, when you realize how many people have to go through the expense and hassles of travelling. I hear many a story from my daughter who works at the airport about severely crazed people who are trying to get from point B to point A. Yesterday, she was trying to help a man who wasn't following what she was saying and kept saying, "what, ...what?" He had his IPOD earphones in! I can see how some people get frustrated and rushed etc., but don't they shouldn't take it out on everyone around them! Geesh.

Well, I'm going to search for a fun Christmas tune for the day, for you. Hope you enjoy and have a very grateful Christmas!

Carpenters "I'll Be Home For Christmas"

2011-12-24T10:46:00.000-06:00

Here is Karen Carpenter singing a sweet version of "Home for Christmas."

How To De-Stress and be Peaceful

2011-12-23T09:51:00.000-06:00

Hello everybody. I thought many may be feeling the Christmas rush around about now. I came across this advice from a prominent psychologist. It caught my eye because I know my own daughter has been feeling like a "scrooge" she said. Early this morning, she was walking her dog, Brody and they came across a big, black lab who running around on the loose. She was able to call the owner who told her that the dog had been missing for 3 days and that she was so happy and relieved. This act gave her a big boost in the Christmas spirit department and I for one am so glad that she snapped out of it!
Here's some extra help for all of us....

When we experience joy, we are instantly connected to the Divine and His unconditional love for each of us. It is pure joy that brings us healing, hope, and a stalwart inner faith that touches the core of our being. It is this feeling that each of us will be able to easily access at any time, any place when we practice The 4 Steps of Joy, inspired by my Angels and Spirit Guides. It will help us access joy and make it readily available as if it were in a protected vial awaiting our use on command.

The 4 Steps of Joy technique is especially beneficial to those of us who have difficulty expressing emotions such as fear, anger, sadness or even delight. The labeling of emotions is similar to learning a new language. Being in touch with our feelings makes us more aware, more complete, and more conscious of ourselves and others.

Learning to access the feeling of joy brings an awakening to our spirit and our physiological being.

The 4 Steps of Joy

The 4 Steps of Joy are precise and specific. The first three steps are identical to The 7 Steps of Rebirth.

When you feel miserable…

Step 1 - Stop. Say “Stop” aloud or silently and visualize a red Stop Sign.

Step 2 - Breathe. Take one deep breath through the nose, hold it to a count of four or 4 seconds, and exhale through the mouth, the exhale always longer than the inhale. This creates the switch of going from being in the stress mode to a state of calm.

Step 3 – Acknowledge -“Whoops, there I go again!” It’s not my boss giving me a hard time, the world, my wife, whomever. It is my story and, therefore, I can change it.

Visualize a Nature Scene that you love, which includes all the senses, sounds, colors and vibrations.

Step 4 - Reconnect with Joy: Bring the nature scene you have developed into your awareness and experience a few moments of joy with all of your senses. By using a phrase or code such as “sunset on the lake”, “doe in the moonlight”, you instantaneously enter into this joyous experience. It is imperative that this experience relate strictly to nature.

The experience of joy is that brief exquisite moment without any expectations or demands. It is simply feeling it and having the association energetically with Divine love and compassion. That’s what nature is about. It is a continuous reminder of the grandeur of Divine creation. We get so lost in subways, cars, highways, laptops, and iPods. It would behoove us to take a walk every day and absorb the natural beauty that surrounds us, whether outside in nature or in our own imagination. The grandeur of nature is present everywhere, and it is breathtakingly uplifting at all times. It is God’s creation.

The way we learn, the way we transform, the way we grow, the way we live life is by repetition. Daily practice and repetition. Heal and Enjoy!

Doris E. Cohen, Ph.D., has been a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist in private practice for more than 30 years, treating thousands of clients. Her approach uses therapy, hypnotherapy, past-life regressions, and dream analysis. Visit http://www.healingrepetition.com/.

Thanks for stopping by to check in! Have a peaceful day! Colleen.

2011-12-22T16:09:00.000-06:00

December 22, 2011 at 6:00 am · Filed under humour December 22, 2011 at 6:00 am · Filed under humour
I like the women don't get lost part....

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game,

while both male and female reindeers grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.

Female reindeers retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer,

EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should’ve known…

ONLY women would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

With thanks to Deb for this little beauty

Santa and Reindeer Sing White Christmas Animation Song

2011-12-22T16:05:00.000-06:00

Santa and reindeer can sing too! Who knew?

Wheelchair Performers

2011-12-19T08:20:00.001-06:00

Over the years, I've often wondered why we don't see very many wheelchair performers. Could it be that in this day in age, people would rather simply not choose to watch them? As I continue to review WW2 with my highschooler, I am reminded of when I was taking History class and 1st heard how President Franklin Roosevelt would hide his effects of polio from the American people. he could move somewhat with crutches, but relied on a wheelchair. It didn't say a lot at the time about public perception. Did his advisors just assume that everyone would automatically view him as helpless and hopeless or some such thing? Even though he was the President, he would lose supporters because he worked from a chair?
Yesterday morning, on the Sunday Morning show there was a 29 year old young man who is a singer/songwriter. A very talented one at that and he happens to be in a wheelchair. Originally from Canada, he is topping the charts there and in several other countries. Seems like he is just being introduced to performing in the US.
Just by watching his story, I was inspired to get out of bed quicker than usual on a cold day. Get outside and enjoy our mild weather on the trail, and start a new painting. He made me get in touch with how much I really do have and how much love is all around me.
Enjoy him on the video that I posted. I hope he lifts you up as much as he did me. Ladies and gentlemen, Justin Hines.

Justin Hines "Courage" [OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO]

2011-12-19T08:19:00.000-06:00

This is a really moving song and video and should keep you filled up with hope and inspiration. I know it really worked for me!

Late Night

2011-12-18T02:07:00.000-06:00

I'm not able to sleep at the moment, so I thought I would sit back up and savor a quiet house. Nobody asking me any questions, no dog barking and wanting to play, no kids jamming to their music. No phone ringing. I must be a late owl at heart. Years ago, I worked the overnite shifts at the airlines. Due to your bottom of the barrell seniority, you get the least popular shifts. Mine was the 9p-5a. I think there is some kind of disorder named for nite time shift workers who get out of sync with themselves and the world. I remember it being so dark, cold and still at night. Then I would go to a drive thru and bring home dinner usually(5am) watch some tv, sleep until noon, get up shower, eat something out of the freezer, take a nap until 5 or so, watch some tv, get ready for work and go again. I started at 9pm. It really wasn't much of a fun happenings lifestyle. On one of my days off, I would shop at TJ Maxx and errands and the 2nd day off haul my laundry to my parent's house. I started feeling quite exhausted after maintaining this schedule for about a year. Lost a lot of weight. I was too tired to eat and only at the one and 1/2 meals. Never ate at work. This is when I would smoke a cigarette for my break. This was a period of time in my life when I was still trying to hide the muscular dystrophy. If someone asked me why I was walking strangely, I would tell a lie about a bad ankle break that never mended correctly. It was an exhillerating time for me because I was on my own, but a very trying time too. I'm glad that I was able to have that living independently experience.

Part of why I am up late is because I watched the whole Saturday Night Live because Jimmy Fallon was hosting and there were a lot of his old classmates poppin in and out. The show has been really dissapointing to me lately, so it was good to have some of the past members perform. Can't believe that I have been watching SNL since I started babysitting in the 7th grade.

Goodnite or morning. Love you for stopping by! Merry Christmas week.

In A Word

2011-12-16T11:12:00.000-06:00

How to describe special people who share...in one word it's hard, but I pick the word gracious. Last night, I was opening up some Christmas cards and I really read them word for word. In the past, I have just kind of breezed through reading cards, but now I really pay close attention to exactly what people are expressing to me through their cards. I actually feel love and caring rising up out of the cards. I know it may sound kind of bizarre, but these cards can really give me a boost. I wanted to share a verse that I got from a Sharing and Caring Hands Christmas Card...I'm sure most of you have probably read this one before but it is so relevant to me and should be for all.

My child, I've often heard your question. This message is my answer. You're concerned about the hungry in the world, millions who are starving...and you ask:"what can I do?" FEED ONE

You grieve for all the unborn children murdered every day...and you ask "What can I do?" SAVE ONE

You're haunted by the homeless poor who wander city streets...and you ask "What can I do?" SHELTER ONE

You feel compassion for those who suffer pain, sorrow and despair...and you ask "What can I do?" COMFORT ONE

Your heart goes out to the lonely, the abused and the imprisoned...and you ask "What can I do?" LOVE ONE

Remember this My Child...two thousand years ago, the world was filled with those in need, just as it is today, and when the helpless and the hopeless called out to Me for mercy, I sent a Savior...HOPE BEGAN WITH ONLY ONE

Words to live by, I'd say. I also want to share one of my favorite Christmas songs. "Do They Know It's Christmastime At All?" It's the group of artists called "Band-Aid" who sang this song to raise awareness and money for those who were and are struggling in Ethiopia. It's back from the 80's. It always makes me stop and think for a moment.

Have a great day. Colleen.

Band Aid - Do They Know its Christmas 1984

2011-12-16T11:10:00.000-06:00

Snizzle

2011-12-14T23:27:00.001-06:00

Schn-izzle----Schnizzle. SNOW plus DRIZZLE. Some winters back, I remember meteorologist Paul Douglas coin this term. Pretty clever. It has been a mild season so far this winter. plus, no more snow on the ground. The next temp. plunge will be on us this friday. SO, I heard from Dave Dahl. here in Minnesota, we all seem to have a favorite weather man. Let's face it, they are in our homes at least 3 times a day and possibly more. The tech. aspect is everywhere from being in our cars, computer systems and phones. Almost like a political leader, we choose the candidate with the best fit and most sound ideas. Most credible and most appealing is all wrapped up in there too. One may need the weather report that plays the best music, has the most attractive reporter etc.

The whole idea of the weather topic in Minnesota is always among us. This topic continues to be one of the most safe and common things to talk about with a total stranger. Or even your best friend or distant relative. How's the weather? We Minnesotans are sharers and good communicators almost from the time of birth. Speaking Minnesotan is not only an accent, but a warm and nurturing one as well. Not a lot of drama here. It's a feeling as much as a language. Our history gets shaken up into this realm of peaceful hometown families.

So I've been bargain shopping a little, reading a little, talking to folks a little etc. It's all been good in my little corner of the world. Has anyone gone to see Cinderella? I believe it's in St.Paul until New Year's. This happens to be the 1st made for TV movie that I remember watching on our 1st black and white tv. With about 700 blog posts, I'm sure that I must have written about it. Such an exciting entry that I can't even remember!

Visited the school today and I get such a kick out of the kids when they 1st come up from lunch and are waving. The welcome that they give is a feeling that I am so lucky to receive and I treasure it.

Good night and good day! This season can really bring you up if you accept the lift!

Bake and Take

2011-12-13T00:08:00.001-06:00

I had a really fun time this past saturday morning at a Christmas cookie bake. It took place at our local highschool's home economics classroom. All of the ingredients were supplied, and packaging to bring them home. Of sourse, our little group had the "putziest" recipe, but after making 5 and 1/2 batches, it started rolling quite smoothly. I was the recipe reader and ingredient fetcher. They had Christmas music playing, so that was fun in itself. Everyone singing together from time to time. There was a real small town feeling about it all. When it was all over, one of the leader's boyfriends came to pick her up and he had her pet pig with him. Can't get much more small town feeling than that! He was pretty cute and we all got a good laugh out of it. Then we went to our neighborhood joint and had some lunch. It was a really fun way to spend the day and having plans like that to look forward to, always keeps me going and happy. I'm lucky to have good and funny friends at that.

My post from yesterday about Chrissy ending her life is a story that will live on with me forever. I have never had such physical hardships as her. Constant pain, no control of any part of her body, no freedoms. If you would like to read a post that her family posted today, please go to http://www.lifeparalyzed.blogspot.com/ this is a post that Chrissy wrote a while back, and it really takes you into her painful world. I need to tell you it is a rather long read, but worth it to gain some understanding of why, why she could do something so chilling as wanting to end her own life.

May you all have a blessed day! Colleen.

A Shock From Another Blogger That I Followed

2011-12-11T23:12:00.001-06:00

Message to My Friends
PRE_CURSOR, THIS IS A BLOG ENTRY WRITTEN BY CHRISSY...NOT COLLEEN.

I'd like to take this opportunity to address all of my friends (hopefully my family already knows how much I appreciate & love them). I have been so blessed, to have so many wonderful, supportive people in the life. Unlike so many other people I witnessed (during my time living in the nursing facility) in similar situations, my friends have been there for me from day one of my injury and have stayed by my side throughout my struggles; during good and bad times. My friends have amazed me; always going the extra mile. I'm so thankful to have had such a large group of people that have rallied to help me, spent time with me, lent their shoulders to cry on and continually took an interest in my life and offered me love and support.

Thank you so much for being there for me, and helping to motivate me, inspire me and for giving me the strength to endure living with paralysis for as long as I have. I would not have accomplished half of what I've been able to do since my accident, if it was not for the extra support of my friends. I wish I could've endured this life a bit longer, but I am thoroughly exhausted (mentally & physically). Just know that I have appreciated every single visit, every word of encouragement and the generosity that you have all shown me.

Please know that my decision to leave this life behind was not made rashly, or without careful consideration and concern for the people I'm leaving behind. I have been fighting an uphill battle to live, every day since my accident. A big part of my died back on June 5, 2005 and my life was never the same. Everything has felt empty, and bittersweet. Every memory tainted with sadness, over everything that I've lost, everything I miss doing, and everything I had planned to do, and hoped to be.

My paralysis robbed me of the most basic human necessities (freedom, privacy, independence, and physical intimacy). It has been tremendously difficult, being forced into accepting help; needing to be washed, clothed and fed like an infant. I have had to endure horrible treatments and artificial, unnatural means of life support (through medicine, catheters & bowel program). My body is exhausted and most days I'm sick, uncomfortable (chills, cold sweats, fevers) and in pain (chest pains & nerve pain). I did my best, to seek out doctors, specialists, therapists and tried countless medications and treatments. Unfortunately, there is no cure for me. There aren't many options or relief. Life itself has become torture. I have felt like a prisoner within my own body. I'm tired of suffering. I'm tired of fighting to live, only be sick and miserable. This is not a quality life for me.

I never wanted to disappoint, or hurt my loved ones, but I have reached my limit. I have tried my hardest for six long, painful years and now I just want to rest in peace. I hope my book will help people understand me better, and open people's eyes and minds to what things matter most in life. I hope it helps to broaden people's perceptions on right to die issues and the importance of quality of life. I leave this life with the comfort of knowing I will be surrounded by those closest to me. I leave behind my friends and family with a heavy heart, but feel I'm ready to embrace death and hopefully move on to a better, peaceful place. I hope my book can bring comfort and closure to those closest to me & serve to continue to help others once I'm gone.

Again, thank you all for your love, support & friendship.

Love always, Christina

Posted by Chrissy at 12/11/2011 05:05:00 PM

Hi, it's Colleen. Earlier tonight, I was reading and catching up on blogs that I follow. This is the 1st one that I clicked on. While reading, the further I got into the post and realized what was happening...I felt myself freeze and almost shut down. How tragic to realize that this young woman was in so much turmoil in her life that she wanted to say enough and bid farewell to her loved ones on this earth. Couldn't believe I was reading her farewell letter.
I have no details. I have no answers. I do feel relief that her constant struggles and battles are over. No one deserves to live in and experience so much pain. Chrissy, you will be missed by those who loved you and those who you inspired. R.I.P. you fought a good fight and leave behind many whom you've increased much awareness.
Peace, Colleen

Homeless Home Movie Preview - Hope for Homeless People

2011-12-09T09:45:00.001-06:00

The world is starved for love. This is a local woman with a story that my Mom and I have followed over the years. I had the TV on in the middle of night and Mary Jo Copeland was being interviewed at her newer facility which houses more than 500 families. Her goal is to help people get help and encouragement and to give them assistance to get them back on their feet. In today's world, this becomes increasingly more difficult. People are in crisis trying to find places to transition to. High rents and scarce jobs make this almost impossible. Enter Mary Jo. Her facility serves thousands of meals a day. She runs the home without government support. If you're looking for a charitable cause to help out this season, I highly recommend this one to your list! The video that I found on Youtube is a few years old, but her message stands out strong. God Loves You! People need to be told that they are loved from early childhood and many are not. She exudes so much love in ways that some can only imagine. She believes that God has called her to this work, and she will never stop. It's heartwarming and yet another reminder of things we may take for granted. Peace out.
SHARING AND CARING HANDS 525 No. 7th Street MPLS. MN 55405-1523
GOD BLESS US ALL!

A Lot Of Sharing Going On

2011-12-08T22:39:00.001-06:00

Went to the DMV this afternoon to sign my son's new driver's license "schtuff." He is a newly registered driver in the state of Minnesota. While standing in the winding little line, I looked up at the lady behind the counter. She looked familiar to me, but I can't place from where. So anyway, she iniated a conversation about how much easier boys were than girls and that she had three sons, five granddaughters and one grandson. Also shared kind of matter of factly that one of her sons died recently and that she was taking care of one of her granddaughters and she was having trouble with her...to what extent I'm not sure. There we were talking about several intimate details of life, well, her talking and me listening as we were surrounded by many others just going about their mundane DMV business. It was as if we had known each other a long time and were trusting friends. It made me realize that when we need to talk and reach out, we probably just want some affirmation and someone to just listen and hear us. I could tell she was having some issues but was plowing thru them just fine. Then just like that, the moment of sharing and caring was over. It made me feel good to to be a good listener to her and maybe make a small part of her long workday more pleasant. Over the years, I have realized just how important listening is. Especially with kids. To be heard is really the perfect gift any time of year.

Drama Queens

2011-12-07T23:37:00.002-06:00

It was funny the other day, my daughter called me out of the blue to say "Mom, thanks for never putting me in child pageants when I was little." She's 21and had been watching Toddler and Tiara episodes. I actually just heard a woman state that she and her husband actually had children for the purpose of putting them in pageants! So their 1st child was born and is a son. At 1st," Bob" was pushed into these pageants by himself and then his little sis. came along and she is them too. Neither child placed to high on the winners list, but they will continue on this journey of pageants far into the future. The father of the family just stated that he would get a second job if necessary. At what cost? They will never get to see each other and when they do, they are shelling out huge amounts of money for entrance fees, costumes and travel arrangements. Right now, they have Bob modelling around on the coffee table. Trying to get the kids to be fierce and emulate Ru Paul. It's just too much. These crazy adults that surround these pageants need to develop just a wee bit of self esteem. It seems like most of the mothers are total control freaks and teach their kids not to become fat like them. Oh, just too wacky to go on!

Had a good day hitting two Goodwills. You never know what you may find...at reasonable prices. For the bargain hunter and lover of the sport of shopping, it is really a good way to go.

I just noticed that have new follower and want to welcome her! Greetings to Heather and please visit her blog. I have been reading it for a few months now and fequently get bonked on the head with a new dose of awareness and positivity. http://www.paralyzedwithjoy.com/

Makenzie Myers II There she goes

2011-12-07T23:35:00.000-06:00

This little Makenzie is quite the personality, but I'm glad I'm not her parent!

Feeling The Season

2011-12-02T22:46:00.001-06:00

I really felt the season today and it wasn't only the biting winds. While shopping in a few stores, I actually had people stop and tell me several times to give a shout out if I needed help. Fellow customers included! I am told this all throughout the year, but today just felt different. The people were actually establishing eye contact with me and smiling and sharing witty comments. Just not used to so much niceness. It was , well...nice. Wish it could last all year long!

I saw an upsetting photo of Marie Osmond on facebook today. Back in the day, I used to just idolize her. To me, it wasn't only her talent, but her beauty that stood out. The Donny and Marie Show way back in the 70's was one of my family's favorite shows. Sure, it was the talent. The singing and dancing and acting, but for me it was also about Marie's fresh and modern looks. She had so many hairstyles and I considered her to be sooo glamorous and confident in herself. Over the years, I have heard her in many interviews speak of producers judging her for her fluctuating weight and i think this facial surgery has to be wrapped up into this. Trying to find the pic. to post. See what you think! Oh, Marie...
Isn't it shocking? It was to me. She has always been a "friend in my head." While looking up this pic., I came across a few from just last year. She looked gorgeous! When I worked for the Airlines, I got to speak to one of Marie's personal assistants. She was in Minneapolis doing some kind of personal appearance. I got to change their seat assignments! May not seem too exciting to some, but when you're taking over 200 calls an hour, believe me, contact with a famous person stands out.

Have a festive and great weekend!

Zach Wahls Speaks About Family

2011-12-01T08:59:00.001-06:00

This is one of the best speeches that I have ever heard. So wanted to share with you. It seems so strange to me that with all of the things so many people and families deal with on a daily basis, that "they" can't get past this one. When Zach is speaking to this gentleman behind the desk, it make me think the gentleman behind the desk must be a real idiot! I believe this speech will increase a lot of awareness in a lot of people. Have a good day! Keep on smiling.

The Movies

2011-11-29T22:42:00.000-06:00

I had an enjoyable trip to the mall to see George Clooney's latest, a drama-dee called The Descendants. It was not the typical romantic comedy style that I am so used to. There were some twists and turns and "it" was trying to be different. Me, my Mom and sister Susan were a little distracted because one of the main characters(I guess you could call her that) was in a coma and being kept alive on a ventilator. What a coincidence! Even though I have been on a vent. for 10years now, I found myself stopping and thinking, oh yeah! I'm on a ventilator for life support too. I know it was for dramatic purposes, but they made her look really rough and like she really was dead. Some medical shows and situations in movies etc. are kind of like a good, swift kick in the jaw. I really found myself focusing on the relationships amongst the characters and it actually ended up being a pretty good escape for me today. Like my Mom said, she's not going to tell anybody to rush out to see it, but it would be a good one for when you want to see a more contemplative story. One where you may think about what the main characters lives were like before the lead female's accident.

On a lighter note, I'm headed back to the third grade tomorrow to help out in class. This act always makes me feel better and should get me out of my funk. There's nothing like a warm smile from a child on a cold day!

I'm glad that you've stopped by to stay caught up with me. Means a lot!

Calm

2011-11-27T10:27:00.000-06:00

Woke up to a feeling of calm. I think I may have finally gotten some sleep last night.

This is a special thank you to some of my lady friends and my Mom and sisters for coming over the other night. We had a black friday avoidance party. Just a nice get together to chat, munch and have a couple of drinks and a lot of laughs. There was a lot of love in my little livingroom and I felt it. It was a good kickoff to the season of caring and sharing.

Have a calm sunday.

Virtuous

2011-11-25T13:41:00.000-06:00

If it's one thing that I know I am, it's patient. One of main nurses, you may have heard me refer to her as my "Alice" yes, like in the Brady Bunch where Mrs. Brady is still in charge, but Alice does most of the work. So, anywyas, my Alice hurt her back last weekend which means she couldn't work this week. It's been a little hectic and stressful. This morning I met my 2nd replacement helper. She is doing really well, is very enjoyable and isn't treating me as a common "patient." I told her right off the bat this morning that I am not Queen Elizabeth and thus do not need everything perfect. I will tell you if I need something and please don't ask a bunch of questions..."am I doing this right?" etc. She GOT IT!!! I am having a great day and looking forward to my women friends and relatives coming over tonight for a little kick-off to the Holiday Season before it gets too crazy and nobody has time to just visit and relax.

My family Thanksgiving was really nice. All of us 5 kids were all together and we even got some nice family photos! It was mild enough to pose outside! A very grand holiday.

Well, I hope this season of thanks finds you all well and happy. Did anyone go out shopping in the middle of the night? I heard some hub bub happened in CA. at a Walmart...was anyone hurt? Most likely so. I don't get the whole rush. Are things really that much cheaper in the middle of the night? It seems like the sales continue on now for a long time.

I do love the Maria Bamford commercials for Target tho. She is a comedienne that i have talked about before. Once upon a time ago up in Duluth, MN, my brothers ran the local driving school and Maria Bamford was one of my younger brother's students. We've seen her a couple of times at the Acme Comedy Club in Mpls. She is hilarious and I have to share a bit of one of her Youtube videos...Enjoy!

Crazy Target Lady- Tipd #4 Use a Utility Belt

2011-11-25T13:40:00.000-06:00

She is so entertaining!

Hard Way To Find Out

2011-11-22T08:44:00.000-06:00

It's another Facebook issue. I have several facebook "friends" that I've met thru various disabled people. You become friends and pass them on to your friends and so on and so on. This morning, I had a friend request. I clicked on it to see who he was friends with. It is a young woman named Jessica who I had been in touch with thru email on FB. Last year, I was checking into the diaphram pacemaker. This young gal was completely paralyzed and was learning to use one. This means no ventilator. I found out that my condition didn't qualify for this procedure. Anyways, she was always very friendly and always available for my questions. We kept in touch. So, this morning, after reading many posts from her friends on her "wall," I realized that she had died this past August. It is a surreal thing to be reading along and then realizing what you're reading. Send offs, mixed in with one sided conversations. I've noticed before thru similiar cases how people write messages to the dead friends as if they are still getting their FB messages. I just realized that maybe they are!
R.I.P Jessica, my FB friend from Maryland. You impacted many lives and were blessed by all of the friends you had throughout your young life. Keep in touch! Colleen.

Common Sense Moment

2011-11-20T23:36:00.000-06:00

I've already written a little bit about the 1st snow of the season...all good, no major drama surrounding it for me or my loved ones. This afternoon, I was just relaxing (or trying to) knowing that the Vikings were not doing so well, and I looked outside into the parking lot to see a young, female driver jump into her snow covered car and take off. She didn't let the car warm up...didn't scrape, or from what I could tell, DEFROST,,,and just drove off.
This was shocking to me. I realized at that moment that I was lucky to have grown up in a family where I had parents and grandparents who actually cared enough to teach me about safety. We're talking about important driving safety. When you live in Minnesota winter time, common winter knowledge is very important. I mean one does not just drive off in a snow covered, cold car. Her entire rear windshield was layered in frozen snow. Visibility didn't have a chance.
Another winter memory was sparked from this scene. My grandparents were a virtual tag team of snow removal experts. They would bundle up like North pole elves (much less colorful) and head out to the frozen, covered windshields. My grandpa would gently scrape snow and my grandma would gingerly pour luke warm water from a well worn stainless kettle. He seemed like the magician and she the assistant. Then he would scrape and she would pour until the job was done. When I would see them come out in their artic attire and gloves and scrapers and pan of water, I would think oh my God, here they come again! How did they develop this technique? From their parents? I guess I was too young at the time to fully appreciate their efforts. We just thought they were looney tunes...or bored. Not sure if I ever got the chance to tell my Dad how much I appreciated his patience with explaining to all of us the importance of winter driving safety either. So, taking the time now to say it...THANK YOU for the common sense basic training. It has done me and my kids well. Minnesota gift giving gift. You can never go wrong with the gift of a new and sturdy ice scraper. you're welcome for the tip...you betcha!

It Just Is

2011-11-19T22:24:00.000-06:00

Well, we finally have our 1st snow of the season. It's always good to get the 1st one overwith and the initail shock of it winding down. Here I sit all snug and warm in my bed and can't help but think of the hardships that homeless people must face on a regular weather day, but the snow storm days have to be much much worse.
As a person who has gone thru so many ups and downs with my own financial situation and housing issues, it can be surprising at how fast and close you can be thrown into or close to being in the range of real basic needs and the difficulties so many people face in their daily lives. I feel kind of rambly and rambling right now, but this topic shakes me up.
I didn't do much today. Some painting and some casserole making. I've also been reading some blogs again. If you ever have some extra time on your hands, after reading my blog, go ahead and click on Next Blog at the top left of my page. You may be transported to a different country, lifestyle, struggle, new kind of ideas that you haven't been exposed to before. Its fun. I like to share my story with others, but it's also really enjoyable to meet new friends from all over the world thru blogging.
Tomorrow, i'm going to bundle up and take a winter pleasure hike. It is what it is, may as well get used to it.

Number Three Happened

2011-11-17T17:29:00.001-06:00

So 1st, it was my laptop, then my tv went poof and died, today, it was my trusty little hair dryer. It gave me a warning the other day with a little hot smell. Today, it was actually smoking and stinking. Bad hair day was the result. Not a big deal, it's definately good hat weather around here lately. Rain and snow for saturday and sunday. Fa la la.

On a much more upbeat note, I finally witnessed something getting fixed around here for a change, due to the note I wrote to the new buiding manager. (only 2 weeks ago) In the parking lot, there has been an important light that's been out for several months. It has been just black out there. The bulb got changed yesterday. A service guy even battled fierce wind in a cherry picker. May not seem like a big deal to you all, but around here, to have someone actually get the point and solve the problem is HUGE.

It's still the little things that mean the most.

165 Readers

2011-11-15T23:58:00.001-06:00

Wow, you people! I actually had my highest amount of readers for yesterday's blog entry. Yes, 165. Thank you to all who continue to support and follow.

I have been feeling great lately. Getting out and about and having some fun.

Today, I went out to Target for a few food items that Mack needed to complete an at home food lab. We dined on pork lo mein which turned out really well. He's got the patience for the slicing and dicing I tell ya. The most fun about having the home food prep. is displaying and photographing the finished product. Just like a foodie stylist.

I did make it into the trail and then the winds kicked up and I headed back for a sunny spot in the window.

I just watched the updated taping of Diane Sawyer with Congresswoman Gabby Giffords. Her husband was really trying to gently push her from the start. During one of her first days of consciousness, he brought in her track shoes and suit and set them on the chair. Telling her that failing was not an option and he was shooting for getting her up and in those shoes within 2 weeks. I think she was up at that point, but not quit ready to run. I really admire their stick to it no matter whatness(my own word) giving up...not an option! She is doing so well. Makes me emotional and leads me back to many uncertain and shakey days from my past. God bless my kids for being my motivation to get out of bed...then and now.
Ok, time to sleep. Thanks again as always for reaching back!

California Dreamin - Mamas & The Papas

2011-11-14T23:37:00.000-06:00

All the Leaves Are Brown

2011-11-14T23:15:00.001-06:00

I took another cool, crisp stroll back in the woods today. Lately, when I enter the woods, I find myself singing the aforementioned song. The Mama's and The Papa's, All the Leaves Are Brown. I love having the trail to myself for a few minutes. Only came across one other hiker. The air is feeling quite brisk and I realize that my days of rolling along the trail are numbered.

Focused on how grateful I feel about being able to scoot outside or even around the building here with some feeling of freedom. I've been reading two other blogs where the 2 young women are completely paralyzed. I know that I deal with a lot, but many, many others are living their lives with a lot of heavy struggles. I really can't imagine losing what freedoms I do have.

Well, my mission for tomorrow is to contact the "senior" linkage line that is provided thru the county and find out if there happens to an optician that is set up to accomodate wheelchairs. I have been putting my eye exam off for a while now because I just know that I will probably come across some hassles. Periodically, I buy a stronger set of readers and this might not be good.

Today there was a man cleaning in our hallways. He was nice and moved his stuff out of the way for me and then made an awkward comment/joke about my wheelchair. "You should pull a rope tow on the back of that thing!" yuck, yuck. I told him that I had never heard that one before, but I've had people tell me I could pull around a wagon or a snowplow! My new found career. Snowplow Lady.

Annual Womens Group Christmas Bazaar

2011-11-13T11:35:00.000-06:00

I'm not exactly sure of what it's called. I can't believe that after attending this event for probably the past 15 years, that I don't know what the proper name for it. Craft Sale? Christmas Bazaar? Well however you spell it, say it, slice it, it's a great event to get you into the holiday "spirit." One of the best parts for me is that you don't know who is around the next corner. I bumped into many friends from the area. It's fun not knowing who may pop up next. It made me realize that I do know a lot of people in the community and feel secure in knowing this. Each year, in the same place, I always stop and visit these three little older ladies who are sisters. Not sister sisters, but sisters. I think they came from a rather large family in the area. They make really sweet, detailed handmade Christmas cards. Anyways, they are always happy to see me and I them. This year was a little bittersweet because I would always pick out a handmade card for my Mother in law. She has been gone now for almost 3 months. I chose another elderly friend to send one too. My daughter came over last night and she was feeling down and missing her Grandma Mar too. She's felling some disconnect from that side of the family and it's hard for her. The older she gets, the more she realizes how important family is.

Today, I have the grand puppy and we are going to bundle up and take him far into the trail. Mainly to tire him out. TRY to tire him out. It's fun to have him as a motivator. Something other than myself to take care of. My son has been up in the woods of Hibbing for a few days with a friend and his family. I hate the term empty nest, but I'm in one!

Have a good day. Embrace your health and be happy. I say this because I just came across another woman's blog from a couple of years ago, who was not going to survive pancreatic cancer. It was chilling to read a couple of her last entries. Then, the entries suddenly just stopped. While her daughter had posted a small entry about what was ahead for mother and how she was doing at the time, she didn't come back to post to share when her life ended. The last entry was June of 2010. At the moment it's hard to grasp that this woman was all of a sudden just gone, but there's the reminder again. Everyone dies and stay in the moment and make it happy.

11-11-11

2011-11-11T18:52:00.001-06:00

I woke up hearing about 11-11-11 and something about the allignment of Mars etc. It was funny, but at 11:11 am, I actually yelled out to my nurse"it's 11:11!" I don't know what I expected to happen, but nothing did.

I had a great time at Blue Heron Elementary yesterday. When I meet Ms. Conroy's class each year, I give a brief synopsis of my story and then answer questions. This class was very attentive and had all kinds of questions. I joked with my family and said that I felt like Carol Burnett. Remember at the start of her variety show when she would say, 'ok, let's turn up the lights...any questions?" (just realized i'm dating myself..this show ran for many years, but I'm thinking you probably have to be over 40 to remember.) Well, this classrom had the most questons I've ever been asked. What's your favorite color,song,movie,food? Your favorite, animal,tv show etc. I felt so important and like a celebrity! So glad that i have the chance to feel needed and welcomed.

We also got to attend a tribute to Vets and Veterans Day in their cafeteria/gathering place. All of the grades each had a different song to stand and sing to the attending troops and their families. It was special and I could tell it was special for the kids too. One of the highlights of the event was the 50 state's song. Today at lunch, I was impressed that my sister still remembered it. I had never learned it.

So, it's been a great couple of days...that 3 rd thing never did happen.

Threes

2011-11-09T17:37:00.000-06:00

Do bad things really happen in a sequence of three? For the sake of my sanity, I hope not!

My son, Mack came home sick from deer hunting the other day. I call it the creeping crud and it manages to hit him pretty hard at least twice a year. Upper respiratory, wheezing, coughing. I thought it was going to be a bit better this a.m., but of course he appeared in my room at 5a.m. saying that he had just thrown up. Super duper. I happen to just hate when one of my kids is ill. It wears me down too. He is on the mend now though. Me and my nurse Jen made him some homemade chicken soup. Gobs of garlic(nature's anti-biotic) and loads on onion )nature's anti-histamine) My grandma would be so proud.

The second bad thing is that my tv died last night. There was some flashing on a local channel, then I turned to another local channel and more flashing, then a higher cable channel and suddenly went black. Poof! My nurse Tammy tried everything we could think of; turning it on manually...nothing. Unplugging and plugging etc. So, she managed to hook up the little tv from my nurse's office. She was surprised that I wasn't freaking out. I told her if there's one thing that I've learned over the years, it's not to rant and rave and sweat the small stuff. I need to take things as they come. Dumb hassels like this will wear you down if you let them. So far, a number three is at bay.

1971 I Can't Believe It's a Girdle Commercial

2011-11-07T10:46:00.000-06:00

Wow, this is ridiculous to me! She doesn't even need a girdle. Plus her voice...shrieking, stupid girdle commercial!

Alerts

2011-11-07T10:37:00.001-06:00

Lately, I have been hearing various alerts regarding womens health. These seem pretty stupid to me. 1st of all, Spanks are now squeezing women too much. Manipulating internal organs? For those of you who don't know what Spanks are, they are the modern day girdle. For those of you who don't what a girdle is, It is a woman's under garment worn around the butsky, tummy, underwear area. These things have been squeezing womens minor bulges and curves in for years. Just can't understand why all of a sudden they are too constraining for the woman's body.
The other health alert that really bugs me is that now "they" whoever they are are trying to tell us that while we still need up to 8 glasses of water each day, it's now how we drink it that matters. We are not supposed to have a glass of water with our meals. We are being instructed to have a glass at least 25 minutes before and then 25 minutes after a meal. Don't we have enough items in our day to remember? I think the reason why to space out our water this way relates to proper absorption of nutrients etc. It just may be that I watch too much day time tv, but I've been trying to focus on doing the healthy thing as of late. It's just so much that "they" want us to think about.
I remember when about 30 years ago, de-caf coffee was all the rage because of some medical studies that "they" researched and released to the public. My grandma who was an avid coffee drinker(probably 7-8 cups a day) tried Brim. Anyone remember "Fill it to the rim with Brim?" A popular decaf. coffee who tried to capitalize on this bad coffee, good coffee thing. Then several years after that , another study and most recently even more studies telling us that 1-2 cups per day is actually good for us. Especially men and their prostates. Whatever...I think on slow news days this is what we get. A lot of hullabaloo about what "they" think we need to know to live a healthier lifestyle. I have to laugh when I think of all of the potential dangers that the pioneer women must have had to deal with. "Warning! You may encounter danger while going to the well for your water. You could slip, get frostbite, fall in!" "Danger! While on this path to the outhouse, you may be bitten by a spider or snake or worse! " A little food for thought I guess.

Movies

2011-11-05T20:52:00.001-05:00

It's funny to me how I have certain movies that when channel surfing, I always stop on them. My 1st example is The Wizard of Oz. (happens to be on right now) Second, would be Sound of Music, and many other of the favorite classics. I won't be adding the movie we saw at the theatre yesterday. It was Rum Diary with Johnny Depp. I thought any project with Depp's name on it would be an instant hit for me. I was wrong. It turns out that the movie script was based on a true story and Depp was friends with this man. He was a young writer back in 1960 trying to make a living in Puerto Rico. It was hard for me to follow and at the beginning I kept waiting for it to take off. Oh well, I guess this has taught me to stick to my genre...the romantic comedy and the classics.

Thanks to many of you for your support and concern regarding my mammogram experience from hell. I am feeling better and not quite as traumatized as I was a couple of days ago. My daughter asked me,"why does everything happen to you?" Of course, I kind of chuckled and didn't know what to say. I guess why not me? I can be an example and increase awareness if only in a small way.

Boobilicious

2011-11-04T21:26:00.001-05:00

I'm back again. So lucky to have my little laptop back...and with a proper battery! I no longer have to rely strictly on a power cord being transferred around the apartment. It's great and a big thanks to Reiner and my Mom!

Are you wondering about the blog title yet? Yesterday, I went in for a regular, trying to be proactive and watching out for myself with something I could possibly prevent...a boobified mammogram. Turns out I hadn't had one since '08. Before then, I had had two of them with nothing out of the ordinary and also no family history.

I feel like I need to preface this story by saying that it was a gorgeous day and was enjoying myself thoroughly because we were in thrifty shopping heaven. Super bargains all around us and a clicking clock. It was time to "squeeze" in the routine check-up. Got there, a little usual paperwork and they took me early. Went thru the miniscule and awkward changing closet which was at best 4 feet by 4 and attempted to get it over with. Heck, I had been thru this procedure twice already and grinned and beared it (bore it?) I'm not going to share a lot of details. I will say that I picked the right person to have taken me to the appointment. My nurse Jen who is one of the most caring and tough, get it done nurses that I have.

It seemed like an eternity, but somehow we managed to get all of the required x-rays. The techs. were forcefully pushing and posing and squeezing and I do mean squeezing and after much cursing (like the s***) word and even crying, we were done. CRYING! Tears flowing from real,physical pain. I felt violated, traumatized and just plain sad. I even remember saying at one point, "Jen, tell them how tough I am...I don't cry. " I couldn't believe that the pain of this Photo-shoot was so painfully horrendous that I cried! It turns out that the tech., spotted a skin rip under my left girl. .. then the right one. I came home with gauze under both of my girls.

Ok, enough of the trauma. All I could re-iterate to my sisters and Mom was how my grandmas and even great grandma of 90 something years had most likely never had such tests. Thank God I have no family history of breast cancer or my tale would be much different. I am in no way saying no to breast exams. Just not to wheelchair women with delicate frames and needs. I am hoping to become a womens advocate in some way.

I am sending out a very special thanks to my nurse Jen who gave me nothing but the best care all throughout this part of my medical and emotional journey. Could not cope thru this part of my winding road without you.
P.S. my message of the night is to take nothing for granted. )

Have an enjoyable weekend.
Lots of leaves out there in Minnesota. What did all of the tree owners do without the powerful leaf blower machines as of the last several years? Wind is their friend don't cha know.

Gone Again

2011-10-30T10:31:00.000-05:00

Hi. I'm writing from my friend's computer again. My computer was up and running great, but now is not operable due to the plug in port and power cord. No connection. Since there is no internal battery, I need to rely on the cord and then when people help me move it around, it gets stepped on and dragged and etc. Grrrrrr. So, super frustrated at the moment and will be back as soon as I'm able! Have a Happy Halloween to those of you who celebrate. I'm going to mine and my daughter's friend < Rachel who is 21 tomorrow. We are having dinner together and I'm looking forward to it. No one is dressing up tho, so whatever. Keep on smiling and I'll do the same.

Take Back Halloween

2011-10-29T10:23:00.000-05:00

I came across a cool website that is full of really inspirational and creative costumes for women. http://www.takebackhalloween.org/ These costumes are inspired by noteworthy, famous women of the past. Women like Emma Goldman(womens activist)Pele, Aphrodite, Demeter. Some greek Godesses and women heroes. While the costumes look very intricate, and they are, they are just so beautiful and meaningful. These costumes are on the opposite side of the spectrum of the sexy nurse, the playboy bunny, the sexy whatevers that are out there. Oh yeah, can't forget Snookie. I also don't like when people dress up as inanimate objects. One year my friend dressed up as a picnic! She was covered in a red and white checkered plastic tablecloth with ants stuck to it and ketchup and mustard bottles. Some people are crayons, cups of coffee, rocks, it just doesn't seem to be appropriate dress for all hallow's Eve. What are you? Oh, I'm bubble wrap." yes, I saw a guy on a local show last week who was bubble wrap. To this I say, "whatever." Not sure why I really care so much about this. I also don't like it when men dress up like obnoxious women. Don't like it because when a woman dresses up like a man, it never seems to be as "funny." The man as woman gets laughs from womens body parts and it just seems wrong. I've had this complex and opinion going on for a long time. Remember the scene in South Pacific (old 40's musical) where this one seargent is dancing and singing and shaking it up in a grass skirt and coconuts for boobs ... in a dance number? The crowd who he's dancing for is just hysterical and over the moon with laughter. I don't know, has always made me feel uncomfortable.
Well, on to another great fall day. Enjoy the season!

South Pacific - Honey Bun (Original Film version) Pt 1

2011-10-29T10:18:00.000-05:00

Here is the "Coco-nut" song that I am referring to...the actress dressed as a man is not nearly as "funny" as when the man comes out in drag.

Oh EM Gee

2011-10-28T10:28:00.000-05:00

Last night I was in the middle of a few things, dinner, trying to paint, teen boys and their loud music, barking dog...the usual, and I received a message on my facebook. It was my cousin's wife telling me that she tried to leave me a comment on my blogsite and when she tried to do so, a nude, home video of the young actress Emma Watson popped up! Yikes! I immediately went to the blog and clicked on an extra button that I had added that said please comment, I love comments or whatever it said. So, there. I clicked on it. Nothing. Then all of a sudden, there she was. Emma Watson leaning forward on her TOILET and criss crossing her arms across her girls. There was a play arrow for the video. Then, to make it worse, over to the right of the page there were several other photos. on which to click on. I was trying to close it out and delete, delete dammit and it wouldn't go away. I had to call my nurse Jen who knows all things computer and get rid of it for me. Needless to say, she is going to do some cleaning out and updating and virus scanning and whatever. My little blog feels tainted! All I could think of were some of my more conservative followers doing what they do...follow and what if they clicked on this comment box and they got little lady Emma on her toidy? Oh M G is all that came to mind. Deep breath, (really pretty hilarious)

If I Knew Then

2011-10-27T08:40:00.001-05:00

I heard a quote recently which makes a simple point, but is so brilliant and a lightbulb moment for me. "Release the hope that the past could have been different." I used to think that all we have is hope, but not in this case. At times, it's been a struggle for me to let go of the past, but when I move forward, quotes like this one help me. As time goes on, it gets a little more clear to me just what my life should be about.

So last night I was watching a bit of Rosie O'Donnell's new show. She was talking to a young woman in the audience about her baby or wedding shower. Sitting next to the woman was a man her age, a co-worker who was wearing a brightly colored fuscia pink shirt. Rosie says to him, "are you her main gay?" He said very shyly, "yes" he was looking feverishly to his gal friend..."are you planning the party?" Rosie yacked, he replied "no." Rosie..."what? you're supposed to plan an over the top party, isn't that what you're for?" the man seemed embarrassed and put on the spot. He responded, "I can bring the momosas." It was very awkward to watch this and I thought just because Rosie is an out there lesbian, that doesn't give her the right to just assume she knows all about gay people and what they should be wearing(pink) and doing...planning fabulous parties for their best girlfriends. Don't know if I'm overreacting or not.

Whatever Rosie. She used to be a "friend in my head." You can tell she is trying too hard on her new show on the Oprah network. Throwing out brash comments to people, trying to tease them for their reactions. I wouldn't want to be in that audience.

Still Awake and Reading

2011-10-26T22:48:00.000-05:00

Reading Blogs Time ... I'm up and reading because I feel like I'm behind with what's new with my web people and fellow bloggers. Here is a good one I am "borrowing" from a sister blogger. Thanks Jenni.

Imagine for a moment that there is a bank that credits your account each morning with $86,400.

It carries over no balance from day to day.

Every evening deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use

during the day. What would you do? Draw out ALL OF IT, of course!!

Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME.

Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.

Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to

invest to good purpose.

It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.

Each day it opens a new account for you.

Each night it burns the remains of the day.

If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours.

There is no going back. There is no drawing against the "tomorrow."

You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get

from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success!

The clock is running. Make the most of today.

To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.

To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a

premature baby.

To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to

meet.

To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.

To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an

accident.

To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver

medal in the Olympics.

Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you

shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time.

And remember that time waits for no one.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery.

Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present!!!

-Anonymous

The next posts here are previous ones from Jenni's blog. www. the sitethatbreathes.com

When we first got there, we looked around a couple stores on the main level and then decided to go up a level to another store. On our way to the elevator we stopped at a kiosk that had hermit crabs. We were just watching them, when the guy that worked there came up and started talking to my sister. He was asking her some questions and she was telling him how we've had hermit crabs before. Then I chimed in to the conversation and said to him that I had them but they'd all died. He got this surprised look on his face, looked at my sister and then straight to me and said, "Whoa, you can talk?"

I was like, "yeah!"

Then he said "good for you," and shook his head up and down a couple times. I didn't say anything to him afterwards; we left right away. Frankly I was a little in shock and kind of confused. Realizing afterwards that basically he had assumed that I was unable to talk because of my situation, I wish I would've said something else. I chuckle about it now, being that it was so unbelievably frightening at where assuming things in a situation gets you. I actually think this might happen a lot with people; it's just no one's said it out loud to me before.

After that, my sister and I kept going to our next destination. We went up the elevator a floor to the store we had planned on going to. When I first entered, there was a woman in front of me staring down at a rack of clothes. She looked up at me briefly and then turned to my nurse and said "I like the shirt she's wearing."

I just looked at her dumbfounded and said kind of sarcastically "thanks!" At that point I was a little annoyed but also disappointed in people. Felt kind of sheltered and in my own little world; like there was nobody around to help or defend. I moved to another spot in the store and went on with shopping despite my feelings. Sometimes when things like that happen I just have to take it as a learning experience and move on I guess. These certain situations are the exact reason why I want to get out there and educate others about people with disabilities.

It's important that people understand that just because someone is in a wheelchair, doesn't mean they can't talk or don't have abilities. My main goal is to help eliminate this stereotype and put fresh thoughts in people's minds. If everyone makes a conscious effort to help out with this, I think a lot of people could be reached and benefit.

Thanks for reading my blog and feel free to leave comments or questions. I look forward to them!

Jenni

Posted by Jenni at 3:04 PM 7 comments

Friday, September 30, 2011Taking Pics

When I was at the Walk and Roll at the Mall of America Sunday I handed out pictures of me with my crown and sash on. I already had professional photos done a while back, but I wanted some different ones printed. So last Friday I got all dressed up and went outside. I had my sister, Kristen, take a bunch of pictures of me (78 to be exact). It was so much fun! Although by the time we were done my cheeks hurt and my eyes were bugging out from the flash. Other than that I think they turned out extremely well.

I picked the one I thought was the best and then fixed it up a little with highlighting, filling and shadowing. Then Kristen took them in and got 200 copies made. I definitely think that it looks professionally done; she did a great job! I told her that she should go into photography. I'm lucky to have a sis like her. She's been great through all of this and very helpful. I appreciate everything she does for me. Thanks Kris! I posted the pic below.

She also printed 300 business cards for me to hand out. I think they turned out really well. I love getting my information out there for people to see what I'm up to and contact me.

Jenni

Posted by Jenni at 2:32 PM 2 comments

Labels: Ms. Wheelchair Minnesota

Sunday, September 25, 2011Walk and Roll

I had a great time today at the Walk and Roll at the Mall of America. It was put on by Midwest Special Services. I sat in front of two huge lights for most of the time taking pictures with everyone and giving out signed photos. Next to me was Miss Minnesota 2011 and Miss Minnesota Collegiate 2012 also taking pictures. There was also an Elvis impersonator singing while people did a lap around the mall.

I really enjoy attending events and using my title to help others. I'm glad that I have a chance to do opportunities that arise like this. It's really exciting and a great experience to be a part of so many amazing things and meet new people.

If you know of an event or speaking engagement that you would like me to attend, please contact me.

Jenni

Posted by Jenni at 4:09 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, September 21, 2011Feelings Written, Feelings Heard

Sometimes I find myself drifting away, staring at the wall, thinking of things that I know I have no control over and that I cannot change. It's difficult to be in a situation where you're so vulnerable to others and in which your privacy is gone; where the only place that feels safe and comfortable is inside yourself. At times I feel like letting go and giving up everything to the unbearable grasp that is holding me down. Then again I have to remind myself that things happen for a reason and that you either live life or leave it. I choose to live and that is what keeps me together. My struggle with the feelings I have cannot continue to bind me anymore than it already has. I want to be as strong as possible and not look back because doing so puts me at a crossroad in which I do not know where to turn. It pains me to feel this way and to let others know the side that hurts most; the side that may need help; the side that struggles to keep it together. These feelings are not often shared even to the closest of people in my life. Why I choose to write them now will never be known even by me. I know that I will find peace. I'm a very strong person and I also know that I'm helping others just by being me. I'm only human and I hope that these words only bring you closer to understanding some of the things I go through. The quote below has helped me tremendously to deal with the overflow of emotions that creep up from time to time. I hope it resonates with you.

Jenni

"Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greatest achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you!"

-Christian D. Larson

Posted by Jenni at 3:13 PM 4 comments

Labels: About Me, Thoughts

Saturday, September 17, 2011Some Amazing Women!

Below I have compiled a list of some amazing women with blogs. They all have a disability but strive to showcase their abilities. It's amazing to me how many people are out there making a difference and helping others. I feel honored to know and talk to empowering women like this. Visit their blogs to see what they're all about:

Colleen has muscular dystrophy. She's been through a lot in her life but pushes to move forward despite.

Heather is a quadriplegic, but doesn't let that stop her. She believes things happen for a reason and is happy in her life.

Cheryl has cerebral palsy. She is a strong woman and activist for people with disabilities.

Ruth is a quadriplegic, who is determined to empower others using her blog.

Tiffany is also a quadriplegic. She is a freelance writer and advocate for others with disabilities.

Chrissy blogs on her life and struggles as a quadriplegic. She also shares info about spinal cord injuries and paralysis.

Katy writes about her journey through recovery as a quadriplegic.

If you know of other amazing women with blogs, let me know and I'll add them to the list!

Jenni

Posted by Jenni at 1:58 PM 4 comments

Thursday, September 15, 2011Ode to Nurses

I'm very fortunate to have the nursing help that I do. Although I don't always want nurses around and no matter how independent I'd like to be, I need every hour with them that I can get. They are my hands; they are here to help me do the things I cannot do for myself. They're there for me during the times I need them most, and are willing to do whatever it takes to make it easier for me. I'm grateful that I have a full staff of nurses because I know there are many others out there in similar situations who do not have the adequate care or nursing that they need. Thank you to all the nurses out there who help people live life to their fullest potential.

Jenni

"Nursing care comes in many forms. Sometimes it is the ability to make someone feel physically comfortable by various means. Other times it is the ability to improve the body's ability to achieve or maintain health. But often it is an uncanny yet well honed knack to see beyond the obvious and address, in some way, the deeper needs of the human soul."

~Donna Wilk Cardillo, A Daybook for Beginning Nurses

Posted by Jenni at 10:22 AM 1 comments

Labels: Nurses

Older Posts Home

Subscribe to: Posts (Atom) eading some of the blog that I follow. Why, because it's been 11 days without my trusty computer!
Just found this interesting post about time and how much it really is worth. Something we may not even think about during our normal, daily rituals.

Back In Business

2011-10-26T14:01:00.000-05:00

Any Seinfeld fans out there? George Costanza on getting a new job..."I'm back in business baby!"
I picked up my computer today. Very convenient for me as my parents' next door neighbor is the go to computer guy.
Seeing as I was without it for eleven days,( but who's counting) I came up with a couple of new activities. One, I got back into painting. Two, crossword puzzles and magazines before bed. It's been good to have the change in my daily routine.
Thanks to those who stopped by to check in while I was on my little break.

There really isn't a lot to catch up on. There have been a couple of irritating things like no hot water or water pressure in my bathroom for about a week. (still have it in the kitchen) ALso, the upstairs family seems to be taking up tumbling as a hobby. I can set the clocks around here by when their young son arrives home from school...every day...at 4:05.
Other than that, nothing else worth mentioning. Now that I share that, I'm feeling rather selfish.I'm still following any and all news on the missing baby Lisa and have also caught my fair share on the devestation that has recently hit Turkey. There is pain involved here that I can't even imagine. So, my little irritations are almost non existent in comparison.

The sun has come out and the pup who is Brody is paying us a visit so we're off to the woods where all the good smelling stuff is. (for pups)

I hope this post finds you well and happy!

Out of Touch

2011-10-19T16:20:00.000-05:00

Hi Followers. I am writing to let you know that my computer is down and is being worked on. I have been doing the usual things and am fine. I hope to be back online very soon. Enjoy the snappy fall weather. Signing off Colleen.

Morning News

2011-10-14T08:58:00.000-05:00

I'm not a very regular news viewer. I will catch either part of our local news headlines each day or check out CNN on occasion at least once a day just for the headlines. It's a double edged sword for me because I want to be informed and know what's going on, but you never know what you're going to get, so to speak. This morning I came upon the baby Lisa story. She is the little baby from Kansas City Mo. that was allegedly taken from her crib about 11 days ago. This morning they released new video footage of her cooing and smiling at her mother. Those sounds of cooing and baby talking just pulled at my heart so much. I'm sure most parents can remember those early, joyous sounds. So, assuming that the family is clear of any ill doing, my other thoughts immediately wonder how the family is dealing with this. I will be thinking of this little one until she is found.
On a lighter note is very cool here in Minnesota. It feels fresh and snappy. As long as the sun is out for at least part of the day, it's all good. Happy weekend and hope to write more tomorrow.

Who Doesn't Love History?

2011-10-13T09:22:00.001-05:00

I'm sure we can all remember History class. I had it in eleventh grade and distinctly remember falling asleep during a movie. Head down on the desk and actually sleeping! Let's face it, some of American History will induce sleep. back then, we would have to memorize dates of things and it was never very appealing. Since then, I have been much more interested in history. All kinds, all countries. I give credit where credit is due...to the History Channel and PBS.
So, last night I was relaxing and glad the day was winding down. However, I thought too soon. My son came out and asked if I would help him with a history review. I can't ever say no because I often encourage him to come to me for help when he needs it. Not really for history help, but I'm usually ready for anything. Almost anything, but the dreaded assortment of math classes.
Even though it was 845pm, I told him to bring the World War One on, bring it on! At 1st, I was lost. Saw familiar words, but didn't have ANY recall about this era. Once we got into it, I found so many people, events and battles that I had once heard of all fall into place. I actually understand the Spanish-American War! I now realize what brought about the forming of the Panama Canal. I wasn't ready or excited to learn History in 11th grade, but now actually enjoy it as it unfolds. Makes me wonder how many young students are just not ready to accept so many subjects and classes being required of them. It's a lot to absorb. Anyways, I get it now. Ms. Nackerude would be so proud!

Lucky For This TIme In My Life

2011-10-12T09:03:00.000-05:00

My mother in law always used to say, "oh, listen to me going on about my problems when you have to go thru so much..." I would always think to myself that there are sooo many people who endure and accept many more challenges and realities than I do.
So, my latest gift if you will, is the fact that my son is now 16 and able to be my "caretaker" for the evening shift, four nights a week. Four hours a night. This is technically his first real job. At first, I wanted him to go out of the home to work and he was willing, but then I suggested to him that I could offer him some PT hours. He is a good cook, patient and knows my capabilities and habits more than most. So, yesterday we ran him up to the orientation process at the healthcare company's training center in Elk River. That went well, he went thru several hours of procedures etc. was hired and that's that. Just has to have his mantoux test read today and we are all set.
This role of care assistant isn't a new one for him. He has always been able to help me with many things around here. My mind takes me back to when he was 5 and in the afternoon kindergarden. I had meals on wheels service at that time and the sweetest woman would deliver to me everday. (Bernadine, still see her now. Works at Target) That was mine and Mack's time to actually take care of each other. I would eat some and he would eat some. We would share many sweet moments together during that time before he trotted off to the bus.
I really look forward to this time we have to work together. I'm sure it will go by in the blink of an eye, but am so grateful.
He seems grateful also, but possibly for more practical reasons than sentimental ones like me. The young man has his eyes open and searching for his 1st vehicle. A lot of growing up happening around here right in front of my eyes. All good.

Enough And Who Cares?

2011-10-10T22:20:00.000-05:00

It's no secret that I really enjoy my reality shows. I also enjoy attending a good live wedding as well as wedding shows on tv. The fashion, the planning and logistics. Well, last night and part of tonight I watched Kim Kardashian's wedding planning and nuptuals. It was a special on the Entertainment channel that was 2 nights at 2 hours a pop. As I expected, the couple went thru many hurdles to finally arrive on their special day. Kim became obsessed with everything being perfect and once the invites were sent out, she wanted her groom to actually take back around fifty of them! Supposedly, he had told her that the 50 were the ones who were most likely to rsvp not attending. Wait, think you've heard enough? Listen to this one. Kim was angry with her groom because it was taking him so long to book his frequent flyer freebee plane ticket for his hometown Pastor's flight to come and marry them. It takes a lot to shock and perplex me, but this did it. For those of you who don't know, Kim Kardashian is a millionaress many, many times over. The couple actually made around $17 million dollars on their wedding and they're worried about a freebee plane ticket for the groom's childhood pastor?????? Could barely make it thru to the end after hearing this one bit of information. Bunch of selfish snobs.

Unique Situation

2011-10-09T17:03:00.002-05:00

This past friday night I happened to be watching a history show on PBS. The show was chronicalling the life of black American Sam Cooke. Sam was the first black male to crossover with his music from R&B charts to the pop. charts of the day.Another claim to fame is that he was the 1st black act to perform at the original Copa Cabana Club in Manhattan. I believe he came on the scene in '56. He became very famous with a long string of hits. "You Send Me.." is the 1st one that comes to my mind. I actually remembered it from the Happy Days shows of the late '70s. So, I'm watching the entertaining and factual telling of his story when my nurse Nancy comes in to work the overnite shift. I muted the channel while she walked past me on her way to my little office room. Sometimes I talk and chit chat for a bit when someone comes in but that night, I made it short and sweet so I could get back to the show. Sam was quite active in civil rights towards the end of his life. The story of Cooke's life displayed many protest clips and several Martin Luther King speech segments. My nurse's door was open and while she does not watch any TV, I thought she might be listening to this program. Yes, I mentioned the end of his life. He was just 33 when he was shot and killed. Many believe it was due to a set up with a young, asian prostitute in a hotel room where she stole his clothes which had money in them. Unfortunately, Cooke had some issues with infidelity. Sam ran out to the motel owner who was an older black woman who claims she shot him dead in self defense.
I apologize that I'm just skimming the surface of his life. He did so much to promote young talent like himself and was a busy family man as well. Also saw a lot of tragedy with the death of his 2nd wife and subsequently the death of his 3rd child. A son who drowned in the family's own swimming pool. Friends of his say that he was never the same. At only 33 years of age he was struggling so much and justifiably so.
The unique part of my story is how my nurse asked me about what I had been watching. I had to choose my words carefully. It was rather awkward telling about a young and famous black man from back in the late 50's. She is from Africa and knew a little about the Civil Rights movement, but not a lot. I'm not sure how long we talked about it. Maybe just a few minutes but she seemed very interested. She kept saying, "ohhhh." She is blessed with a young son and I wanted to say "People can learn so much from the right kind of television." I say I wanted to, but didn't. I'm sure the religious group she is a part of will not permit it. Funny how she will stop and really absorb certain shows that I'm watching at the time. Even the evening news!

"You Send Me", Sam Cooke

2011-10-09T16:59:00.000-05:00

Sam Cooke wrote most of his own hit songs too. He has quite a story.

Spiders and Snakes

2011-10-08T17:46:00.000-05:00

I've been singing this song for a couple of days. I'll tell you why. Ok, so you might not think spiders and snakes are very funny, but I do. Lately around the trails and parking lots, we have come upon little garder (sp) snakes. I'd say 10" or so. When they're squiggling along, they have a tendency to make my nurses jump and scream out.(that's the funny part) My daughter's little dog saw one and went after it with his mouth. This really caused some excitement on the trail. It's humorous to me how some people can be so afraid of a tiny little squiggly snake...that has no teeth...or no poison. We were leaving my apartment building somewhat early yesterday morning and when the elevator door opened, what do you think we saw? You got it...snake. In the BUILDING. Ok, so this is where they start to freak me out a little. I live on the second floor and have had a few larger size grasshoppers come thru my shower vent. Should I be wary of little squirmy snakes climbing up thru the vents? I'm asking you all like you would know. SOmeone might know?
Kind of made a fool of myself when I went out for some fresh air last night. We were in the elevator riding up with a young guy(of course he was cute) and I had to ask "have you seen any garter snakes around?" The look he gave me was priceless. "What?" he said in disbelief. So, I had to ask my stupid question again. We chuckled and that was that. Let me just say that I was glad the elevator ride was short and sweet. I also asked a couple of kids if they had seen any snakes. Pretty much the same dazed expression. From now on I'll probably be known as the snake lady instead of the wheelchairlady. At least for a little while.
Enjoy the Spiders and Snakes song. I was trying to remember this singer's name for 2 days...finally got it. Jim Stafford was/is pretty darn talented.

Field Trip To Downtown Minneapolis

2011-10-07T23:15:00.001-05:00

It's been awhile since I last visited my Aunt Arlene in Minneapolis. She lives on the 23rd floor of a really nice apartment building right across from the River Place complex. It was a gusty, windy day so we took to the skyway system. The best part of being out of my usual areas and routines is the people watching. There are all kinds of people of all ages. From the bustling business men and women to the little gray haired ladies and their walkers.
We had a perfect view of the protesters that were taking over Government Plaza in a show of solidarity with wallstreeters. It was almost as if we had been transported back to the sixties or something. I believe the main message they were trying to convey was "Give America our jobs back!!!" Since I have never witnessed a live protest, it was quite interesting. A lot of people painting posters and waving various flags. Something you don't come upon everyday. While back at my Aunt's apartment, we could hear the chanting and yelling...way up on the 23rd floor! My Aunt remarked several times (even to two policemen) "It looks like democracy might be working." She is definately not shy. A lot of fun to explore around town with her. She is a world traveller and so knowledgeable about other countries, so it's never surprising to me how much she knows about her own city.
We had a really nice lunch at her place and my Nurse Jen took a lot of photos. from the gorgeous view from her window and also from up on her rooftop. I'll be sharing a few.
It's always been one of my goals to possibly live downtown one of these years. So much to see and do and everything is so accessible. It could happen.
Well, nice and quiet around here. Thanks for stopping by and take care.

MDA Fundraiser

2011-10-06T10:17:00.000-05:00

The local chapter of the Muscular Dystrophy Association has several fundraisers over the course of a year. I receive emails, letters, fancy invitations quite frequently. The discouraging part is that they charge a significant amount of money to attend these special events. There is one coming up that I heard of thru an email. There will be well known sports figures, dinner, entertainment, silent auction(more$) and in order to attend, the cheapest option is $100 per person. Pay for a table of ten $1000 etc. A V.I.P ticket which would allow you to meet Vikings etc. is $200. This makes me uncomfortable and angry because I have to been to many MDA events and there are always young children who should be allowed everything good in their young and painful lives. For many years, the MDA would host a free Holiday party for all who have been touched the MD diseases. They have discontinued this event and I know many who feel badly about this.
I also get turned off when I am often contacted to go around collecting money from Walmart etc. Hey, I'm really okay with the fundraising effort, but the MD families should be given some kind of support and celebration thru being able to attend the fundraisers for no charge. I know, I know, I'll continue to dream on. I did express my feelings to one of the organizers. (via email) I was just in one of those moods I guess. Had had enough of the emails.

The Best Days

2011-10-05T22:46:00.000-05:00

Every day I have been so lucky to be able to go back into the woods to escape. We've(me and my nurses) have been heading back there each day. Some days my daughter's dog(Brody) is here and he just loves it. His nose is put to good use. It has been so sunny and warm and then cool and crisp in the woods. Each person that I come upon is so friendly and happy too. There's almost an extra special "Minnesota nice" thing going on. Once in a while though, you come upon a sourpuss. Someone who gives no eye contact and seems to blatantly ignore. Of course, once in a while I may take this personally, but lately just keep on rollin' and smiling and thinking to myself,"screw you" breathing in the awesome fresh air that smells like fall. For every sourpuss, there are least 5 great people, so you do the math. Most people are happy go lucky and nature lovers like me. Some actually stop to talk! Feels good. Really enjoying it!

A Jarring Coincidence

2011-10-04T09:55:00.000-05:00

Many of you know that I enjoy reading other people's blogs. When you're reading one, at the top of the blog entry there is a "next blog" entry and they are posted in categories. Last night, I was into some health related blogs. The 1st one that came up was about a woman breast cancer patient. Her blog told of all of her treatments and many emotional things she was dealing with. Last night it wasn't her posting, but her sister's. Her sister had the painful task of informing her readers that she had just passed. This news made me uncomfortable because she had just posted about her passing, just minutes before I came upon it. The rest of her blog was still there. It told of her day to day feelings and struggles. She wrote with humor and positivity and had many respectful followers and supporters. Made me think of just how many people are affected by this terrible cancer and all cancers! Her last post was explaining how the cancer had spread to her lungs and was detected in her brain fluid. Then she had made a comment about whethter or not to believe that she had anywhere from 12 weeks to 6 months. It was only 2 weeks.
My younger sister is attending two funerals this week. One a mother of her daughter's very close friend and the other a brother in law of a close friend. I, like many of you I'm sure can be shaken by sudden deaths. Life is so precious. When you're sick, like these people all were, their inner peace is all that matters in the end after all of the struggling and pain.

Toxic smoke

2011-10-02T10:42:00.001-05:00

The Hindu : Health / Policy & Issues : Toxic smokeISSUE Every puff reduces life expectancy. Isn't that reason enough to quit smoking?

I am going thru a situation with two of my main nurses. They both smoke. At first ,I told my nurse of 5 years that I didn't mind. That was then. My newer nurse started out not smoking while on her shifts here, but now does it quite regularly. I mean come on people! You've studied for years about being a nurse and your main patient is on a freakin' ventilator!!!
Again, I feel it's my own fault because I lied and said it didn't bother me. With the colder weather, the smell they bring in with them lingers on their shoes, bags, jackets. I really look down on a nurse or Dr. or anyone in the medical field that doesn't have the common sense to not smoke. Here I am along with their help trying to keep as healthy as I can.. and they don't seem present enought to get it. Here is news story that I came across that gives statistics etc.

I think my next move is to contact my case manager and let her deal with it. It's just too uncomfortable to be forthright and assertive because then there's a little wall that starts to rise up. I've learned a lot from this and need to start speaking up more regularly. Stay tuned, never a dull moment around here.

Mark Twain once said, “Giving up smoking is easy...I've done it hundreds of times.” If you are a smoker, chances are you have tried to quit, again and again. The reason it is so difficult to let go of cigarettes is obvious — nicotine, which is found in cigarette smoke, one of the most addictive substances on the planet. But beyond the addiction, the act of smoking is a familiar habit and a stress-buster. Smokers rely on the cigarette for much more than the chemical relief that a smoke delivers.

However, packed as it is with lethal and harmful substances, the cigarette also delivers death. Smoking causes lung cancer, one of the most deadly cancers. It is also responsible for heart and other lung diseases and an increased risk of strokes, apart from numerous health problems.

The numbers are sobering — tobacco kills more than 5 million people annually and accounts for about 8.8 per cent of all global deaths and 4.2 per cent of disabilities. It accounts for about 30 per cent of all cancers globally. If current trends continue, tobacco will kill more than 8 million people by 2030. Tobacco kills at an average rate of one person every six seconds. Tobacco smoke has 4000 chemicals, of which at least 250 are harmful and more than 50 are known to cause cancer. Life expectancy is reduced by as many as 12 years in case of smokers. Yet, around the world, smokers addictively inhale puff after deadly puff of cigarette smoke.

The health benefits of giving up smoking are manifold, ranging from helping your heart and lungs function efficiently to lowering your blood pressure, increasing your energy levels and cleaning your system of lethal toxins. On giving up smoking, a person will feel better and is likely to live longer. It is never too late to quit, for the body's recovery process starts within 20 minutes of a smoker taking that last puff. Within 12 hours of quitting, a smoker's blood oxygen level will have increased to normal and carbon monoxide levels will have dropped to normal. Within 2 weeks to 3 months, the heart attack risk starts to drop and lung function improves. One year without smoking will mean that the heightened risk of heart disease is approximately half that of a smoker. After 5 years of staying smoke-free the average smoker who smoked one pack of cigarettes a day will have decreased their lung cancer death rate by a half. The risk of developing cancer of the mouth, throat or oesophagus will now be half that of a smoker.

It is not as though many smokers are not aware of such facts. It is not as though public health initiatives, such as warning labels on cigarette packs, have not been taken deter people from smoking. The ban on smoking in public places in India is to reduce the risk to health by second-hand smoke and raise awareness in the public mind to the risks of smoking. However, smokers continue with their habit, inviting ill-health and death.

As you smoke, it is important to remember that second-hand smoke also kills and you are putting your loved ones at risk. There is no safe level of second-hand tobacco smoke. Second-hand smoke kills 600,000 per year, a quarter of them children. Add to this the cost factor of smoking and the increased social acceptance gained from quitting. It is time to take that first step and stamp out the cigarette you are holding in your hand.

Consultant Medical Oncologist, Kidwai Memorial Hospital, Bangalore

Keywords: Smoking, Quitting program, Medical advice

It's Happened

2011-10-01T22:46:00.000-05:00

My son got dressed up and went to his homecoming dance! I think there were quite a few stags in the group. I overheard Mack say that he had asked a girl to the dance, but she was going with all of her friends. I had some good chuckles as I was trying to help with tying the tie. I thought I was an expert since I had done a demonstration speech on this act way back in highschool, but wouldn't you know, I had forgotten the gist of it. We even looked up a demo. online, but still no luck. Thank goodness his friend Nate came to the rescue. It seems Nate's Dad was in our area and he came to assist. Nate also reassured me that he would have several pictures to pass on to me. A pleasant, mature friend. A good "date" for the night. Thanks again Nate. Thanks Jen for trying too.

Today, I did one of my favorite things to do. Visited Savers thrift store. It's a booming spot especially on a saturday and before Halloween. I found a few tops and then decided to explore the old dresses and costume area. My younger sister Jenny had mentioned that she wanted to be Chris Farley's character from Saturday Nite Live..."the lunchlady."
I happened to find a couple of dresses that would work, but then my nurse Jen came upon a really close match to Farley's. We found the dress, shoes and an apron for around ten bucks...can't go wrong. She was excited and happy. I'll post some photos. of her after Halloween. For the time being I will find a shot of Chris Farley bringing this character to life. I'm sure you'll crack up.

Oh the weather was so gorgeous today! We are expecting even more awesome weather for the next week or so. Tomorrow is predicted to be almost 80...that's October...in Minnesota. Joyous.

Lunch Lady Land

2011-10-01T22:41:00.002-05:00

This Lunch lady post is talked about in my other blog entry....

Up and At 'Em

2011-09-30T09:49:00.000-05:00

My prescription for my nighttime sleep aid was finally filled yesterday. Yay for me. I finally slept so much better. If any of you readers out there need a rather gentle, yet effective sleep aid, this is a good one. I wake up several times a night and this helps me get back to sleep without laying there with the mind races occuring. Maybe I could become a spokesperson!

I have a very good medical supply company. At the beginning of each month, I find out which supplies are low and send the customer service rep."Cyndie" an order via e-mail. It is so simple and I feel lucky and blessed to be able to have these supplies via medical assistance and medicare. You wouldn't believe how expensive the simplest supplies can cost. I have heard that a lot of people who use the same types of supplies have to try and sterilize and re-use them. This can be dangerous if not done properly. Several years ago, I developed a serious pneumonia and it may have been because I had saved and re-used a suction catheter. Bad idea, but at the time all I knew was how expensive these caths. were and it is in my nature to use and re-use and not waste anything. I'm glad that I can be pro-active regarding my care.

Like my Mom says, keep on keepin' on.

Wind Advisory

2011-09-29T11:33:00.001-05:00

We are having a very windy day here in Minnesota. My nurse said "you better have rocks in your pockets if you're going out today!"
It doesn't take much to spark memories for me. I went right back to being on campus, on foot up in Duluth. This was back in the days of me trying to remain as physically "normal" as possible. It was when I was not yet diagnosed with the muscular dystrophy.
It must have been about 10 below and so freezing windy and icy and dark in the early morning.
I was bundled up and making my way to an early class when I was actually blown down on a sidewalk. Due to the ice, I couldn't get my bearings. It wasn't long before a good samaritan stopped and helped me get up to my feet. A real relief, but I was still facing the daunting task of making it to the building. I cautiously made it. This was the first of several more years of living on my own and just dealing with the wind. When I was living on my own in Bloomington, I would stay up late at night hanging on the meteorologist's words about the next day's forecast. It was Paul Douglas. years later, I would meet him at a Mellencamp concert. It was as if i already knew him. Anyways, whenever it was going to be windy, I would have to allow for extra time to get to work. I only lived about 5 minutes away, but would allow an entire hour each way in order to allow for possible falling down time. I think about those early years of my life and wonder what my life would have been like if I would have just accepted more help and "came out" (so to speak) about my condition. I guess it's one of those cases of when you knew better, you did better. It's all good. I think of all of the things that were always on my mind back then and sometimes wonder how I made it through. Very stubborn and headstrong!

Family Dinners

2011-09-27T10:30:00.000-05:00

I just watched another show(Anderson Cooper) which focused on the topic of family dinner actually being eaten at the dinner table. I guess this is something that I took for granted while growing up. Eating dinner together was a ritual in my childhood home. Every day at 5 p.m. we would all gather to eat and that was that. Sure, when we became teens and had commitments, some of us would be there and some not. When we were young and impressionable that seems to have been when it mattered the most. I think we learned a lot by just eating together. We learned manners, shared stories and our lives with each other, learned respect for our families and self respect too. An example of this is the no phone calls during dinner policy and no friends knocking on the door. We were in our dinner ritual time! I can't even imagine what it would have been like if we were each to have had our own phones in our laps. That would have been ridiculous to me. Two adults, five kids...that would make 7 cell phones. Can you say self-absorbed? Wow, times have changed.
So, I would like to thank my parents for making this ritual happen every day. Not twice a week, or only on sundays, but every day. I think we came to rely on the secure feeling we would get just by being together and grounding ourselves each day. To this day, we still gather every few weeks to connect over dinner. No special occasion is needed. The special occasion is just being together. This is yet another case of how the simple things in life that are free can be so important and vital to a family. Ok, I'm hungry now.

They Put Up A Parking Lot

2011-09-25T10:41:00.000-05:00

The photo on the left is a gorgeous tree and I would look for it every year. This year it was not there. It was removed along with 2 or 3 of it's sister trees a few days ago to create a larger parking lot for the YmCA. I arrived too late to ask if it had been relocated or just shredded up. Hope it wasn't the latter.

The Facebook is all a flutter with people speculating on whether or not facebookers will have to start to pay for the page. I'm sure there will be many who will pay, I won't. I'll go back to the old fashioned email, phone call, letter? Yesterday, I was watching a great movie called True Women, I think and it was set in the Civil War days. Women were notified via soldier on horse, their husbands and sons whereabouts. A lot of front porch scenes where the women would be found anxiously sewing and mending and sipping tea and we would hear horses riding up and one of them would yell, "Sarah, someone's coming!" A long ways away from facebook. These women had no time for anything else other than;cooking,chopping wood,cleaning everything,gardening,tending to children,fighting for womens suffrage and the right for them to vote! I happen to like that they had to take over the running of the house without the help of their men. They even fought indians! Each of the women would have a rifle tucked in their laps whenever they would stroll out on a horse. Oh, yes, their horses. They had to take care of all of their needs too. It wasn't like they could just drive in to a Jiffy Lube whenever their horse needed care.

TImes have changed.

I May Never Complain Again

2011-09-23T23:05:00.001-05:00

I think that I am finally back in the land of the living. Actually left the house today and browsed thru Kohl's. Feeling much better than a few days ago.

I have been doing a lot of reading of others' blogs today. Let's just say that I am not special when it comes to women dealing with things. I just left a blog where a young woman who is a quadripalegic is dealing with many health issues from scoliossis to spasms and extreme physical discomfort due to a wheelchair that does not fit her body measurements. She fought very hard for it like I did, but when she finally got it, can hardly use it or go out with it. When she drove four hours to pick it up, she soon found that it wouldn't fit into her van and had to ride in the full recline position with her face just two inches away from the ceiling! This is what I mean about how I may never complain again. I can't imagine developing a curvature of the spine because of a poorly managed wheelchair fitting. This was in Mississippi. She manages to hold on to her humor though and has finally made arrangements to have it properly adjusted.

Came across another young woman in England who is writing her autobiograpy with what is called a mouthstick. She has a 12 inch or so plastic poker stick in her mouth and pushes on the letters/words on the computer that she wants. She has checked into a voice-dict-a phoe thing, but way too expensive...big surprise. I almost can't fathom (sp) the idea of this one. Seems like such a daunting task. The presence of many roommates is the reason why she doesn't dictate to a recorder. Wow. Note to self:never take your arms and hands for granted, what a gift! or complain about small schtuff!